I build ecosystems and mobile environments. Access to basic resources
motivates my work. My goal is to change people’s relations and perceptions
about value through collaborative sculpture, performance, land art, and photography.
After studying current supply and waste chains I began creating interdependent living
systems as a way to reimagine the public sphere, and therefore our shared present and future.

to return to page 1 click here

09.03.06

SpeedVoyage: The fastest amount of time it takes for one to have a grasp and understanding of a culture, of a geological standing, of the terrarium of life within the specific place, and the ability to relate one's grasp of the greater place to a global reality. I just took a SpeedVoyage to the west coast. The trip officially began in Black Rock Desert for Burning Man. A trip I shared with best friend Ashawnta Jackson and her beau Matt LaPenna, Mira&Derek, the Love Army, David, Corey, Leslie, Mike, and Bill. I did not stay the entire week at Burning Man, but instead embarked upon a SpeedVoyage, with two days to go from the Reno Airport (where I picked up the rental car) across on Rt. 80 (stopping at and everywhere in between Pyramid Lake, Winnemucca, staying overnight at Stockmans in Elko, Angel Lake, the Bonneville Salt Flats, the Great Salt Lake, Provo, Eureka, Delta, Ely, Austin, Sand Mt. and finally back to Reno. 1,300 miles in 2 days. Budget Rental was shocked!) On the last leg of the trip, racing with the setting sun, I was lucky enough to experience a full-on desert storm, not had I experienced one like that since the summer of 2001. Bolts of lightning illuminated the sky, temporarily breaking through the darkness while the moon would occasionally peek through the endless storm clouds. One's depth of field and vision is greatly askew in the desert. Until it was upon me, I had no idea if I was close to or far away from the rain. The majesty and grandeur of the mountains, flats, desert, bushes, tumbleweed, evergreens, the shale, the gradations and striations of rock, the salt, salt, salt, was breathtaking. The elementality of the earth, encroached upon by the fabrications of technology. It has occurred to me that the earth has become a stage for contemporary culture and homogenous non-culture, a stage for action and interaction. Place is alive for people during their time and space with it and has only the significance of memory when it is not present. The subtleties of the earth's language and voice are often overlooked, as our contemporary languages are so loud in comparison. One comes away realizing that the unrelenting monochromatic land is so powerful because of its monsterous quietness. (Below: Snapshots from the SpeedVoyage, 2006.)

There are two interactions with the earth: absorptive or reflective. I am constantly trying to capture and express a yearning yet an inability to absorb. With the combinative process of photography, a placemerge is allowed to happen; several places create new collusive possibilities - in landscape; new predictive telluric changes and re-location of imagination. As the cut-up maps and mapping of the land from aerial photographs, photography configures new and predictive spaces. The nomadic subject adjusts, re-configures, and re-learns what it means to survive. When I think of the nomad, that person can be an environmental or political refugee, a wanderer, a displaced worker, an explorer, a gamer forging new virtual lands, a voyager, a helper, a mapper, and in not much time I expect essentially anyone and everyone will be re-focused on survival, acclimation, and movement. (Below: Snapshots from the playa, 2006.)

07.19.06

From Businessweek Online, June: "You won't need a VIP invitation to attend the forthcoming grand opening party for the newest American Apparel store—you just need a virtual avatar. The Los Angeles-based maker of trendy T-shirts is currently organizing a late-July soiree at its latest location: a computer-generated boutique within the parallel online universe of Second Life.
BUILDING INTEREST. Next month, American Apparel will start hiring virtual sales clerks from among Second Life's citizens. But while buzz has been building, not all of it has been flattering. Not long after the virtual store opened, a group of Second Lifers staged a protest against the company's controversial use of sexually suggestive images of women in its real-world ads. Still, attention is attention, and, as some observers say, American Apparel's move might signal fresh marketing strategies for retailers and video game companies alike. "We wanted to charge something for the clothes, so that they would have value," says American Apparel's Schionning. "We're not trying to make a profit. But we know there is a lot to be learned in this arena."
While the American Apparel store is the first major retail outlet in Second Life, it isn't the first online. Way back in 1999, Active Worlds, a Newburyport (Mass.) maker of software for constructing 3D virtual environments, launched an online mall called @mart. It featured stores by small businesses—arts and crafts vendors, for instance—as well as big-brand retailers like Banana Republic and J. Crew."

07.08.06

Last night, after working quite late, it occurred to me how much globalization sounds like glow-ball-ization. David's reaction was, "Wouldn't that be a great Burning Man theme camp?"

06.28.06

Some of the biggest news to date is the 30.7 billion dollar contribution given to the Bill and Melinda Gates Foundation from Warren Buffett's Berkshire Hathaway Inc. Each year, 5% of BH shares will be gifted to the Foundation, on the condition that either Bill or Melinda is alive to head policy for the Foundation. The next few weeks will be spent prioritizing the funds from the Foundation between the Global Health, Education, etc. The philanthropy is so inspiring, heart-warming, and necessary, especially on this enormous level. It will really set a magnificent, transcendent example for other companies and individuals behavior, motivate others to give back in a food-chain effect. AND the bar is set so high - 60B.

06.25.06

click here to witness some really egregious anti-environmental propaganda (visit: http://streams.cei.org/)

The MOMA has a terriffic show from the Edward R. Broida collection, including the artwork of Jake Berthot (a professor of mine at Yale for the summer), Vija Celmins, Christopher Wilmarth, and a truly beautiful multi-panel piece called Rhapsody by Jennifer Bartlett. I only got to begin the DADA show - a show that needs its own day, especially after immersing oneself in the Broida collection. However, something that has affected me me even more was the second floor of the Morgan Library/Museum, just reopened after three years, redesigned by Lorenzo Piano, and housing some of the rarest illuminated texts, scores, letters, bibles, notebooks, relics, seals, jewelry, etc. etc. etc! WOW!!! IT was so touching, extraordinary, engrossing, and really really inspiring. The Bronte Sisters, Mozart, John Cage, Dickens, Rembrant, Rubens, Gutenberg Bibles, Twian, DaVinci. Amazing. Then - Clinton McClung writes about the East Village Dumpling Wars (visit his blog at: http://residentclinton.livejournal.com/). I have a few brilliant interns working with me this spring and summer, one of whom is Shirley Hu, daughter of the owner of Plump Dumpling, so Clinton's blog entry takes off on that.

6.23.06

< Allan Pinkerton > link (visit:http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Allan_Pinkerton)

The race is on to keep humans one step ahead of robots: an international team of scientists and academics is to publish a “code of ethics” for machines as they become more and more sophisticated.

Keeping control - New robo-ethics recommendations
Safety Ensure human control of robot | Security Prevent wrong or illegal use | Privacy Protect data held by robot o Traceability Record robot’s activity | Identifiability Give unique ID to each robot | Isaac Asimov’s laws of robotics | Robot may not injure human or, through inaction, allow human to come to harm | Robot must obey human orders, unless they conflict with first law | Robot must protect itself if this does not conflict with other laws

Bruce Sterling just wrote a great piece in this month's Artforum Magazine; an attempt to persuade more people in creative fields to step up to the plate and talk about global warming, supposedly following the footsteps of the fashion industry. He talks about the recent green issues coming out of magazines like the Vanity Fair, Vogue, and Elle Magazine. Unfortunately, he neglects to see all of the work done in other industries, believing fashion is the only place that global warming is rightly being talked about. Fortunately, it is being talked about everywhere, from BusinessWeek to The Economist, to General Electric, to Wired Magazine, to Morgan Stanley, to the NY Times, to Al Gore… and I could go on and on. Sterling basically wants to defend the fashion world and tell environmentalists to get off of their high horse - which is an important point - we will get much more done if we all work together, and the "better than thou" attitude that so many people have is exceedingly counter-productive and ridiculous.

6.06.06

Just in case you have not been turned on to The Urban Dictionary, a very developed, informative, interesting, intelligent way to track the American English language through a wiki form, the popularity of items, new terms, new proper-noun-become-verb words. Besides that, like 04/05/06, today we have 06/06/06. It will be a long time before this happens again. Six is one of those magic numbers that fits perfectly into the 360 degree day.

6.01.06

There is a rumor that biosphereII will be torn down. (visit: http://www.fredbernstein.com/articles/display.asp?id=150)

5.25.06

This Monday I attended this city's first ever mobile living conference. It was part of the design-week openings, and in conjunction with some openings and events geared towards the city's architecture. One of the greatest quotes from a panel at the mobile living conference (consisting of Paola Antonelli @ MoMA, Kevin Hunter - Calty Design Research for Toyota/Scion, Adam Kalkin – Adam Kalkin, Brett Littman @ PS1, David Mcfadden @ Museum of Arts and Design, Karim Rashid @ Karim Rashid) was "The experience of just talking to people is quite useful." I also liked one statement that harked back to Koolhaas's "Mutations" but never gets old - the "Blanding of Destination", a panelist's very own take on "the Blandification or Brandification of Destination" among other things. It was great to hear such an insightful panel discuss mobility with the audience, and I especially enjoyed the opinions of Paola, as well as the well-balanced and decisive constant comments by Karim. The panel discussed living units like prefab, mobile homes, modular homes, living virtually, physical presence versus teleconferencing, the need for physical things and intimacy, the behavioral changes that take place when new technologies are introduced into the fabric of culture, the disposability of the material world, housing on Mars, and the reasons for mobility, from boredom to refugees to job displacement. Important sociological designs became buzz-words and were dropped casually into the conversation, from the covered wagon to the walkman to the cup holder in the car to the sat phone to imbedded technology.

5.16.06

My father is working hard on the film he is making about Saint Faustina. I have completed the script for WW1V, and am currently so inspired with the process of making sculptures. Stephanie Dedes and I filmed the intro in Trinidad/Tobago a few weeks earlier. More on T&T, their differences and similarities later.

5.14.06

One day at 60th and Lex, there was a man I wrote about walking but not moving. He was in a feedback loop. Was this universe the relic of an earlier collapsed universe? A pregnant dot. Are we a continuous feedback loop of expanding and collapsing universes?

5.13.06

One of the first artists to make a significant sculpture as society was abandoning its medieval thought process might have been Michelangelo with "David". Michelangelo's "David" was armed simply with a slingshot and courage. In WW1V, the weapons that we will have at our use include plain sticks, stones and slingshot, homemade devices ranging from the sacred to the profane, laser technology, and (of course) the nanobot. Finally. Are we abandoning our medieval thought process?

The dews still fall slowly, and the dreams still gather, but no matter the clash of fallen horsemen and the cries of unknown perishing armies in Yeats’s poem, we wonder, and we wait, and we go about our business, even as the sound of something terrible slowly approaches from across the hills.

5.3.06

September 8–November 26, 2006
Ecotopia: The Second ICP Triennial of Photography and Video

In a time of rampant natural disasters and urgent concerns about global environmental change, this exhibition demonstrates the ways in which the most interesting and engaging contemporary artists view the natural world. Shattering the stereotypes of landscape and nature photography, the thirty international artists included in this survey boldly examine new concepts of the natural sphere occasioned by twenty-first-century technologies; images of destructive ecological engagement; and visions of our future interactions with the environment. Considering nature in the broadest sense, this exhibition reflects new perspectives on the planet that sustains, enchants, and—increasingly—frightens us. Ecotopia is being organized by Brian Wallis, Christopher Phillips, Edward Earle, and Carol Squiers, and Joanna Lehan.

5.3.06


Church's Starbucks card giveaway draws thousands
A Florida church had a standing-room-only crowd Sunday after offering $10 Starbucks gift certificates to first-time worshipers. Not everyone thought the coffee campaign was a good idea. ''Church is not about Starbucks or money but learning about God or your religion,'' says Alex Castro, 14. "It's kind of tacky... People won't keep coming here for this.'' (Miami Herald/reg. req.) - April 17, 2006

After all, while loss of place at the local, personal level is (literally) unsettling, even devastating, loss of place at the global level is catastrophic:
Our neural pathways were formed by millions of years of existence in communities of our fellows where daily congregation and rituals and exercises made us what we became, and thus whole...whole cultures, ways of life, languages, beliefs, landscapes, climates, now falling at a cataclysmic rate along with millions of trees in the Congo basin and the Brazilian rainforest and along the Mongolian border. The echo of their crashing is a prelude to the final kiss-off, the extinction of our species along with every other that is made to suffer by us...There is not a power upon the earth that will stop progress. Except progress itself. When the air can't be breathed, when the psyche starts running amok from too many others crowding the elbow, when the spring comes four weeks too soon, when the floods come, when the trees wither, when the billion diverse creatures that weave together in ways we cannot comprehend to make the net that holds us up die, when selfishness calls the chickens home to roost, then it will stop. Too bad we won't be around to celebrate our triumph over ourselves at last. Here our civilization has entered its final century, and that there is no stopping it from bringing about its own demise, as all civilizations before have done, smug in their belief that they are somehow different, unique, immune to the inherent failings of empires built on the presupposition and need for endless growth.

4.5.06

This is the only day in history when at 1:02:03 am, the date and time = 1:02:03 04:05:06. It is a beautiful day. I spent most of it in Cambridge, the last day of the Body Sensor Networks 2006 conference at M.I.T. While in Boston, I had a chance to see the lovely Clinton McClung who runs most of the amazing programming at the Coolidge theater. Clinton is also an ex roommate of mine when I lived in Beantown, and soon to be an on-again roommate of mine in New York, as he trades young collegiates and job security for the Big Apple. At the BSN conference. Some of the highlights of the conference for me were the improvements in energy-scavenging (and these are of course for providing power to devices that are only a few millimeters large many times) from power storage based on vibrations to motion to slight degrees of thermal heat change. The wireless sensor networks, possible improvements in limb replacements and full movement, cornea implants, neural implants, wearable monitors and sensors, eWatches, neuromotor prosthesis, new security architectures designed through an ASS generated from a personalized physiological signal - a fingerprint of PPG readings, cardiac, blood pressure, etc.that is uniquely your own with error-correcting coding and auto correlation. The beauty and potential of compact wireless wearable sensor networks for dance ensembles powered and sensored by gyroscopic movement. I also learned that I probably have a disease called Sleep Apnia, which affects approximately 40M Americans, although many will never be diagnosed. With pulse-oxymetry, 8 PSG signals, Bluetooth, the XPod can help me realize this and potentially solve this light-breathing problem. Other sensor-network platforms were just as impressive, and there were interesting experiments with social-emotional prosthetics and other unlikely cohesions. Now I am on Amtrak crossing the Connecticut/New York line.

3.30.06

Benjamin Franklin's Thirteen Virtues.

1. TEMPERANCE. Eat not to dullness; drink not to elevation.
2. SILENCE. Speak not but what may benefit others or yourself; avoid trifling conversation.
3. ORDER. Let all your things have their places; let each part of your business have its time.
4. RESOLUTION. Resolve to perform what you ought; perform without fail what you resolve.
5. FRUGALITY. Make no expense but to do good to others or yourself; i.e., waste nothing.
6. INDUSTRY. Lose no time; be always employed in something useful; cut off all unnecessary actions.
7. SINCERITY. Use no hurtful deceit; think innocently and justly, and, if you speak, speak accordingly.
8. JUSTICE. Wrong none by doing injuries, or omitting the benefits that are your duty.
9. MODERATION. Avoid extremes; forbear resenting injuries so much as you think they deserve.
10. CLEANLINESS. Tolerate no uncleanliness in body, clothes, or habitation.
11.TRANQUILLITY. Be not disturbed at trifles, or at accidents common or unavoidable.
12. CHASTITY. Rarely use venery but for health or offspring, never to dullness, weakness, or the injury of your own or another's peace or reputation.
13. HUMILITY. Imitate Jesus and Socrates.

3.28.06

In the city we are machines. We wear Streamline to blend with the movements of the city – to make everything quicker, sexier, and workable. In bright, sunny suburban Somers (the town I attended high school in) I remember a group of Parisian exchange students that attended our small school for about a month. What I remember most about them were their clothes. They wore blacks, shades of brown, tan, grey, khaki, and more black. They stood out because of their individuality within our school, which for them was their sameness with each other, was what united them to everyone in Paris. We liked their style, but in the small group of 80 people, wearing converse hi-tops took an extremely confident and strong-willed person. I come away now with this recollection, and with the knowledge of, in fact, many suburban towns, and with the day-to-day interactions or realizations with and about people in this city, and come to several conclusions. Let's begin on a practical level: People in the suburbs generally stay cleaner. Maybe this is a left over habit from each cities individual industrial era (I like to think most cities are a little cleaner now), but the smoke, smog, dirt and grime of the city could have something to do with clothing color choice. Also, it is an easy sophistication. Those two words describe what 50% of city-dwellers strive to be and to have. In this case, the ease of a dark color's practicality and a given level of sophistication generally associated with dark left over from Beatnicks, associations with writers circles like the Algonquin, jazz enthusiasts, depression because of all of society's perils, a disenchantment with those Tide commercials trying to constantly break through TiVo. Of course fashion fluctuates like the wind, and when New York gets warm, it wants to be the Hamptons or even LA. I’m going off on a tangent here. What I am really interested in is groupings, clusters, swarms of people that relate to one another through their clothing, costuming, tags, brands, general and specific nomenclatures. Sports have a great deal to do with this classification – it isn’t like going to Catholic school and being forced into plaid skirts every day, it is being the best in the school, the best in the league, the finest, fastest and being associated with likened-spirits. How can we make people excited to be part of a global uniform? By making it desirable through the economic system? By making me feel it is all right to learn from the French girls, and adapt some of their styles, thinking, culture? Next week I will be at M.I.T. for their convention on new Body Sensor Networks which is somewhat related - how will we be bodily linked in the future?

3.26.06

The state of the world I know: A growing populous in America, BRIC, Europe, and increasingly in some other countries inside Asia, Africa, and South America, live vicariously through digital avatars in flourishing, sumptuously rendered virtual environments. It could be said that in order to function, we will rely more and more on the digital metaverse as an escape from our physical space. Baudrillard, in his new book, The Intelligence of Evil, or the Lucidity Pact, restates the point that since a great loss of belief in the transcendental world (with the onset of the Age of Reason) we have begun the giant undertaking of eliminating the natural world in all of its forms. He suggests an everyday embrace of digital tools but a deep-seeded denial of change. The countryside has become "landscape" in our vocabulary and in our thoughts, which is, in our heads, a duplication of itself. We first acknowledge a media-generated version of countryside called landscape. Augmented Reality: denCity, Dodgeball, google earth, blogjects and participatory media. Virtual worlds: Second Life, Project Entropia, World of Warcraft. Simulations: pilot training flight simulators, Nintendogs, Scenario thinking, Darfur is Dying (visit:http://www.darfurisdying.com/), etc. As these three spaces have a greater importance in our everyday meeting, tasking, playing, breathing, what is the iReality of this? ? What will happen to the physical? Right now in China 3,600 sq. km of former grass/farmland is being overtaken by desert conditions yearly (by Chinese statistics while remote sensing statistics report this figure at around 15,500 sq. mi.- roughly the size of Holland!) with the Chinese "Green Wall" project proving to be overall, unsuccessful. As we help solve the plight of the ever-growing number of environmental refugees (prediction by 2010 United Nations University estimates 50 mil. worldwide) due to large disasters like Katrina in New Orleans, the tsunami in Sri Lanka and slow-motion disasters like drought, famine, disease, sea-level rising, we have at our disposal virtual, open-source game models like "Bordergames", out of Lauapres/Madrid, which allows us to try out solutions in a simulated or trial game before enacting in physical life, as well as physical groups like "Burners Without Borders" who are continuing to work magic with inexpensive wifi, rebuilding, getting donations, etc. after Katrina. They are an interesting between-place because Burning Man, where the group originated and gets its communal gifting inspiration, is in a sense a physical-virtual community. It exists physically for about a week yearly and virtually for the remainder of the year, it physically practices what has fundamentally begun as a technological, economic, and political movement referred to as open-source, which I like to describe as the contributions of a community of contributors for the good of the whole (and perhaps the recognition), for the freedom from top-down ontologies, for progress, results, and strength of a mass-mind. Now, in some ways, the community of Burning Man (visit: http://www.burningman.com/) parallels the community of Michael Griffin's wiki-like space development of "Ancient Spaces" (visit: http://ancient.arts.ubc.ca/). "Ancient Spaces" is an online experiment which, when it is built to the "game stage" players will be able to earn points by contributing historically accurate structures to places like Mesopotamia or Egypt, "adventure down the Nile or fight in the Peloponnesian War." It is a learning and a community tool depicting places that once existed in that state and now are online. The further coalesce of these many spaces are games like World of Warcraft or Project Entropia, where the actor John Jacobs spent $100,000.00 on an online space resort that he now plans to rent rooms, storage, mall space, etc. to other players. Wired Magazine this month makes a parallel between online games and Disneyworld (which I LOVE, as I am such a fan of Disney's ability to encroach on every corner of economic policy, life, thought, dreams). Wired also writes about the fusion of games, platforms, and individual creation within these interfaces. One of the main points of the article was to offer a positive light to all of the gamers who "learn to treat the world as a place for creation - not consumption (as possibility-space)". The frightening thing about this is that as we create a world that last year was the hottest recorded year on the planet in the history of recording (145 yrs) and using Bore Hole Measurements (boring into the earth's surface), the hottest in 500 years, and with proxy-data (tree rings and coral growths) we are looking at the warmest time on earth, and as Antarctica loses 36 cubic miles/yr. in freshwater (L.A. uses approximately 1/5 cubic mile of freshwater yearly), are we going to want to live in reality? Are we going to want to distinguish between our simulated, virtual, and integral realities, or are we going to care about real-life creation - something we are getting further and further from daily?

3.16.06

Currently, I have been working on the Triennial at the ICP to take place in September of this year (called Ecotopia), where I will show, besides otherworldly photographs of wearable-home wanderers and ad-hoc machinery, a new version of marymattingly.com called marymattinglyglobal.org. Simultaneously, I have been working on a giant installation to take place at White Box Gallery about WW1V, Albert Einstein, and immersion in time, place, sound, as well as moving image. The installation will take place for one week of New Time in the White Box in December of this year and will outline the course of the Pyrrhic victory of the not-so-distant future.

3.13.06

It is one of my goals to make reality and fantasy interchangeable. 1 billion of us humans play virtual games in online communities, to date. I want that virtual game to be on the physical street, and I want the hollograms to be so seamlessly real that we are not sure if we are flirting with, shooting at, pummeling, driving into a fellow human or his/her avatar. Won't that be fun?

It’s about time SOMEONE expressed, in prose form, the importance and the future of the Blackberry in the modern world. Here is a starting point that quickly jumps to fantasy:
In the PRESENT: The Blackberry today allows for a contemporary nomadism, a contemporary trip, travel, traverse, commute, cruise, excursion, expedition, navigation, passage, trek, and voyage from the office. This is not the same as self-employment, of course. This is your laptop on the beach. This is your perpetual lunch. This is you - in the space it takes to house an (obsolete) wallet. Now that our wallets are housed with electronic codified signals and typepad keynotes, now that our daughters picture is something we call up in the “ photos” menu, our cash is liquid 0’s and 1’s, everything we know and need to know can be recalled at the punch and enter of a password.
IN THE FUTURE: One day the iPod became the wePod, around the time of it's merger with friendster and myspace. Unbenounced to anyone (until RIGHT NOW), R.I.M.’s proprietary software actually does include the iPod shareware. R.I.M. of course, took it up a notch, but finally G-Simpod was created by HP/Google (in the Mattingly Studio), the company that makes our VA Googles, that brought us aggregated search, freeware and shareware, a new community, a new love of life, downloadable everything,- announced the G-Simpod as HP/Google’s gift to the world, in the collaborative spirit that we love, with: Googleplex, God, and Heaven. Yes, it’s heaven.

1.30.06

the wearable home

1.10.06

Essay by Renee Vara and text by Herbert Lust on Second Nature.

Now, a few days after the opening. I spent the weekend reevaluating via way of the word web. I spent tonight with Stephanie and 10 others evaluating Hegel's Phenomenology of the Spirit, lead by Alex. Brilliantly, it was decided that The True is the Whole. This is Hegel's entire thesis or answer in 5 words, but of course you can not really grasp the whole without experiencing it, meaning traveling with Hegel through the Phenomenology, and traveling consciously and consciously unconscious through life. Systemically, the end is a new beginning and the beginning a new end and we go round and round in the night and are consumed by fire.

1.09.06

US Postage has just increased .02. Frankly, I am openly looking forward to the day the world's postal services fall apart (ref. diary entry 1.30.04) . It won't be long, UPS! The opening at Robert Mann Gallery was a few days ago. I was very happy. Here are a couple of pictures, taken with film

12.10.05

The Singularity will represent the culmination of the merger of our biological thinking and existence with our technology, resulting in a world that is still human but that transcends our biological roots. There will be no distinction, post-Singularity, between human and machine nor between physical and virtual reality. - Ray Kurtzweil

Right now I am reading one of Baudrialliard's new books -The Intelligence of Evil or the Lucidity Pact - so far, it is clear that he wants to eliminate the distinction between reality and virtual, and even eliminate this way of thinking altogether.

the installation in progress - for Second Nature at Robert Mann: This is the hybrid tree. Hopefully the future of trees, it grafts banana, pineapple (yes, now they grow on trees), olives, apples, and a hope is that it will also begin to grow coconuts. The tree is made from recycled elements; plastics, fabric, water, wire, twine, and liquid nails (petroleum, resin, and distillates). The tree will be growing from an island (not pictured here) formed from Styrofoam I have found all over the city (and from the ReCONNstruction Center in Connecticut), earth, muslin fabric, metals and wood layers that make the island's inside a haven for those afraid of nuclear attack or some other disaster involving falling or poisonous debris.

12.03.05

Essentially, we are all the same; we all have something a little bit different to add

12.01.05

About Second Nature (Robert Mann show right around the corner): What happens with Globalization? We lose our sense of roots, of a home, of neighbors. We have new homes, new communications, new environments, a global home. The show is about a time in the future where person-to-person interactions become harder and harder; our old ideas of home and community change and are replaced by a giant, global community. Our physical reality is nomadic and sustained by re-use, while our virtual reality is even greater. Personal satellites, water purifiers, and wearable homes all have a place in the show.


The future lies in the corporation, and the individual’s acceptance of the corporation. During the World Economic Forum in Cuba, my friend Peter (with others) spoke on the possibility of forming a corporate UN - a United Nations composed of corporations wanting to make positive change. This makes complete sense and really should be done. For so long, we have known that corporations hold power over governments - basically because as we transition into a flatter world, economy is the connector, not politics. Of course, they are very tied together, and philosophically they are relatively the same, but money and production of goods and services really control everything. Corporations have the power to get things done, and many times the speed that governments don’t have. We saw this change (globalization) really before the onset of Y2k, with the realization that everything was connected to the point that: if one part of the global infrastructure collapsed, it would greatly and exponentially affect everything else. This wasn’t the case during a time of global nationalism. Now, we have the choice whether to participate or not. I think now is the time to participate in this motion, flow, dialogue, whatever you want to call it. The Bill and Melinda Gates foundation does tremendous work getting aid to parts of Africa, websites like worldchanging.com are great sources, links, or actions of corporate/individual participation in the transition to globality. Here, I would like to add something about water: "The water crisis is one of the major problems preventing Africa from participating in the global economy."- Maria Mutagamba, Minister of State for Water of Uganda, and chair of the African Council of Water Ministers
Then, For weeks, no, months, I had been expecting to receive David Darst’s writings in the mail - from Portfolio Investment Opportunities in China, to Russia, to Western Europe, to his personal writings. I received a letter shortly after meeting him at, yes, Burning Man, stating that I should be receiving them shortly. They never arrived. I figured he was busy or had forgotten... so last week I mailed him a request to re-send. David (quite possibly the most genuine, nicest, caring and considerate man I have met in a long time) calls as soon as he receives the letter, so happy to know that the reason that I had not called to thank him, was that I had not received the package he sent to 302 Eastern Parkway. 20 minutes later, he arrives at the place I am working, dapper, pinstripe suit, and a large expandable file in his arms. It made my day! Inside I found a card, pictures of Burning Man, pictures of David and friends, the writings, his book in English, his book in Chinese. WOW! Captivating! Then, Matt Jones is reenacting his studio in the window of artists space on December 3, from 4-8pm.

11.20.05

Now there are about 6 weeks until the show - Second Nature - opens at Robert Mann Gallery. Needless to say, I haven't been doing much else. The photographs continue to evolve - although this weekend will have to be the end of that. The installation and catalogue are what, after the remainder of the weekend, I will concentrate on (well, besides my continuous search for property in Chinatown and love after one date). Patti (one of the few people who can lead me astray of the studio) insisted I go to Benjamin Britten's "A Midsummer Night's Dream performed at the Julliard Opera Center (it seems opera is all I am writing about these days, but really, 8 years ago I was tag-team DJing with Cities in Process the best jungle and breakbeats you could have heard - in Connecticut, at least.) Anyway, Patti will never read a blog so I can just give a little shout out, never having to fear that it will go to her head - she is an amazing piece of work. We love that woman! We went to dinner afterward - she was concerned that I wasn't eating well - I'm not - I'm pale as a ghost as , like I said, trying to just stay in the studio. So, we ate a huge dinner. What else? Some great friends had openings in the past two weeks - Brian Dulaney at Rare, Matt Jones, Kadar Brock at Buia Gallery. I went to a lecture revisiting the war in Kuwait with Juan and Jee Won, and after to Cafe Loupe where we ate with an Argentinian artist - we had in common the week we both spent wandering NYC streets seeing if we wanted to life here, and a gallery owner in Austin who gave up the priesthood to celebrate art. Speaking of, the other weekend Fred and I went to mass at St. Patrick's Cathedral in Midtown - this place is amazing - if you never have been, go. You find yourself unsure of the dynamic - should you stare at the priest or watch the tv of the priest on the column nearest you? Then it is really disconcerting when the camera would pan the audience and jump-cut to the statue of Mary from Guadelupe, to the tabernackle. One of the discussions Fred and I had afterwards was, if art at times tries to be the secular religion, than that makes artists the equivalent to the left-wing intellectual that can never get anywhere with his voice because it, by default, will never be en masse. The artist is a lone loner.(?) The religious are a massive power. Bill Gates has followers but may be a loner. (what a great term, hm?) The thing that is really interesting now as everyone struggles for power and a voice in a flatter world is - are religions heirchies made of leaders and followers? Are cults? Do the better communities have both - the group mentality and the singular mentality? It seems that that is healthier but not more powerful. Can a successful religion (I am using this to mean community in the broader sense) be as successful with a multilateral power structure or a flat structure with a bunch of people who have consistent ideologies on the idea of progress within their community? So a couple of weeks ago Peter and I went to Connecticut to the birthday of Jay Walker, owner of Priceline.com and tons of patents on ideas (his library and house were amazing). During dinner, his assistants staged a surprise comedy act about Mr. Walker and his family. It was hysterical. In the comedy and I am sure in reality as well, Jay had turned his family into an idea factory. Instead of a family vacation, he suggested, how about a Brainstorming Session? What a great idea - produce an idea factory! It is at the same time heirchial as it is mutually profit-sharing. Victor Burgin rightfully remarked once that "The market is behind nothing, it is in everything". Besides the study of the business model, I think about a great deal of untouched subjects being in the studio sans internet for so many hours a day - I haven't read news for at least a week, have no idea what is really going on out there, and less of an idea about what is going on internally - like the pandora's box we opened back in October 2001....so I am going to get back to work...

10.15.05

Today, I am in San Francisco. Last night I went to see Dr. Atomic with my new friend Peter, the opera about the creation and execution of the Atomic Bomb in Los Alamos. I thought that the opera was actually the best that I have ever seen, hands down. Its mix of new techniques, stage design that took from Gus Van Sant's psychological movie Dogville, a storyline that excluded the most obvious bravados, and was through-and-through about the psychology of Oppenheimer as a microcosm of everyone performing, of the main players as their complex selves, and then of the macrocosm of an entire community, and then the entire United States. Now opera, in my opinion, is sort of a hick's pasttime. I am not excluding myself from this category by any means. I mean - this form of experiential art was big hundreds of years ago, yet we continue to indulge in its fabric, afraid to let go of the past, clinging to nostalgic ideas of passion and romance that were always vicarious. That said, I would like to drastically change the topic to something more present-day and talk about the current intersection between technology and sex, as fabulous advances are being made. From chat rooms to the development of full-body sensors to holograms to VA chambers. Currently, an Australian scientist is in the process of creating a life-sized doll, complete with imitation skin, that is fully controlled over a computer system. In this podcast, Ray Kurtzweil goes on to talk about new inventions in sex-technology, describing a place, communal or private, where the user can communicate with an actual or a virtual lover. She can then decide who she wants to be for her real-life long-distance lover, and of course her lover can override this decision, and they go from there. (10.31.05 - Derek Junck - amazing artist, rock fabricator, and fiancee of Mira Burke just sent me a great follow-up link from VioletBlue (link: http://archive5.libsyn.com/podcasts/violetblue/open_source_sex_13.mp3) that is more in depth, regarding toys and software.) Sensor technology allows everything to be real. I like this idea as, because of my constricted Catholic upbringing, this is the most feasible option. The singularity is near.

Brain-computer interfaces (BCI), places electrodes in key locations on the user’s scalp to detect nerve activity

which is then translated to walking or movement of the virtual character’s hands. The team of creators has

incorporated a fully immersive Virtual Cave for a mind bending walk by thinking. [nature article at: http://www.nature.com/news/2005/050926/full/050926-5.html]

martha stewart farmhouse communities (link: http://www.usatoday.com/money/industries/manufacturing/2005-10-12-stewart-homes_x.htm) - Thank you for bringing nostalgia to the forefront of kitsch, it was lagging behind. We have to appreciate everything Martha has done for our culture, and for instilling in us, through architecture, a lasting sense of place and roots, beginning with a North Carolinan community modeled after her farmhouse in New Jersey.

For a moment, let's regress from technology and sex to talk about THE ORGY OF COMMUNAL SPENDING. Finally, as a society, we are looking for love in all the right places. On weekends employees will find themselves online, blogging on product sites about their satisfaction or dissatisfaction of a product with a passion equivalent to the feeling of good drugs. Or they will find themselves on an adventure, trekking to the malls to view and participate in the S&M (standing and modeling) part of communal spending. Today’s successful business model might want to mimic that of many religions’ models’, of the 12-step program, or of the Tree of Life. The successful business will convince its employees that it is ejecting meaning into his or her life, a meaning that will finally be found by following a step-by-step program towards enlightenment. In order to retain employee satisfaction, the employee needs to think of his or her business journey as a path that brings him closer and closer to reaching the phenomenology of the spirit. Here is a preview, steps 1-6 of the 12 steps for today’s successful business:
1. As employers, we admit that we are powerless without our employees.
2. We must believe a collective mind (rather than just our own) can improve our brand
3. As an employee, you must make a decision to turn your creative will over to the brand
4. In order to break new grounds within the business and capitalize on ideas, everyone - the employees and the employer must work together to make a searching and fearless moral inventory of ourselves and our collective goal.
5. As a business, we must openly admit to the public the exact nature or our wrongs, when and if we make them.
6. We then must eagerly accept and change all these defects of the brand

09.25.05

I have been working on the database for "Mattingly Maps - new cultural uniformity". You can follow this link or manually select: A New Breed | A PUBLIC WARNING | and then Mattingly Maps.

09.19.05

Well, it is now almost a day after the Collector Circle talk and I can surely say, it was an extreme test of a highly unusual narrative structure that I embarked on. The talk was an exercise on how abstract one can humanly be. (Now, this is something that I have been considering may be an interesting way to live life, but I will [for now] continue to just try this every once in a while). My technique was an updated version of Godard's Jump-Cut, complete with an ADD train of thought that included scenes of tragicomic silence not unlike some in Bronenosets Potyomkin, the cut-up techniques of Cassavetes, Kerouac, Burroughs, and of course I took a cue from the Warholian "I'm a freak and don't know how to talk to people" state-of-being. I was brilliantly attaching one thought to something entirely out of left field, and it wasn't making sense to me, nor the audience. This went on for what may have been a good 5 minutes and I had 15. Renee compared it to some kind of Dada performance. (Wow! I never knew I had it in me!) So anyway, talking with Fast Forward at Barbacon in London back in the beginning of August was smooth, what some would call engaging, with the distractions of audio, video and still imagery. There, I enjoyed having more time and a machine between the audience and myself. A panel is great, but standing up in front of 30 people on the 28th floor of a building overlooking the east river, and they are 3 feet away from you, that is intense. That is my conclusion here.

09.12.05

OK, a little brainstorming the other night when I couldn't sleep. Take, for example, water that is poisoned with arsenic. We can purify it with the simple tools of steel wool and copper, or even ferns will balance the ph levels in the water. If we then run it through a second container of carbon, we could drink the water. We can use this basic idea to rebuild New Orleans (alongside a reality-t.v. show). We can begin by determining the toxins that are toxifying the destructed building materials, etc. neutralize them with their opposite, and build a landfill. First, a structure needs to be put in place, similar to the structure that was built to extend Manhattan, out of concrete. Second, the materials that will fill the landfill will be placed on top of the concrete, and then filled with dirt. This process will normally take decades of treatment before all of the chemicals will leave and biodegrade, but it could be sped up with using opposite ph. methods. This circumvents the problem of: what are we going to do with all of the rubble? This is a solution in progress.

08.12.05

Global warming thawing Siberia, scientists claim
Aug. 12, 2005
World Science staff


The vast land of western Siberia is thawing for the first time since its formation, 11,000 years ago, the BBC reported this week, quoting the New Scientist magazine.
“The area, which is the size of France and Germany combined, could release billions of tons of greenhouse gases into the atmosphere,” the BBC reported. This could potentially act as a tipping point, causing global warming to snowball, scientists fear.
The situation is an “ecological landslide that is probably irreversible and is undoubtedly connected to climatic warming,” researcher Sergei Kirpotin, of Tomsk State University, Russia, told New Scientist, according to the BBC. The whole western Siberian sub-Arctic region has begun thawing, and this “has all happened in the last three or four years,” he was quoted telling the magazine.
Western Siberia has warmed faster than almost anywhere on the planet, with average temperatures increasing by about 3C in the last 40 years, according to the reports. The warming is believed to be due to a combination of man-made climate change, a cyclical atmospheric phenomenon known as the Arctic oscillation and feedbacks caused by melting ice, reports noted.
The 11,000-year-old bogs contain billions of tons of methane, most of which has been trapped in permafrost and deeper ice-like structures called clathrates. But if the bogs melt, there is a big risk their hefty methane load could be dumped into the atmosphere, accelerating global warming, the reports added.
Scientists reacted with alarm, warning that global warming predictions may have to be revised upward.
“When you start messing around with these natural systems, you can end up in situations where it’s unstoppable,” David Viner, of the University of East Anglia, UK, was quoted telling the U.K.-based Guardian newspaper. “There are no brakes you can apply.
“This is a big deal because you can’t put the permafrost back once it’s gone. The causal effect is human activity and it will ramp up temperatures even more than our emissions are doing.”
The intergovernmental panel on climate change speculated in 2001 that global temperatures would rise between 1.4 and 5.8 degrees celsius between 1990 and 2100, the BBC noted. But these estimates only considered global warming sparked by known greenhouse gas emissions.
The Siberia situation hints new forces could exacerbate the warming, Viner said—feedback cycles in which the warming itself leads to events that cause further warming. When scientists devised their earlier estimates, he added, “they had no idea” how much this feedback would speed up to the warming.

Tom Friedman: “There is no room for vanilla in a flat world.”

Cheap Genome (http://www.cnn.com/2005/TECH/science/08/05/cheap.genome.reut/index.html) | Global warming - oxygen eaters (wow: http://www.cnn.com/2005/TECH/science/08/05/cheap.genome.reut/index.html)|

08.04.05

In his newsletter, Pip Coburn writes, “Last nite, in the presence of some tech gurus I posited that BlackBerry may well have altered the long-held sociological observation that no person can maintain more than 150 meaningful relationships at one time. With new technologies such as BlackBerry I think that for those aware and desirous of meaningful relationships, one can blow past 150 pretty easily. The world might one day be better for it.” I met Mr. Coburn at a party a while ago - a really funny guy.

08.02.05

Talking to Peter last night (he was discussing a company that wanted to hire him to influence the online public for political reasons, and then Cluetrain Manifesto came up) it occurred to me that, when we are all mackin on our simputers in the grocery-store line, we will forget about the tabloids, too busy being connected to like-minds, whomever they may be. Then I suppose San Francisco will push LA to the wayside, and prevail as the ruling cultural force. Like the Clash of the Titians, the mods and the rockers, we will witness the Plastic Beauties versus the Bohemian Brains. In 2010, LA will be known only as the place that krumping really took off.

Networked conversations are enabling powerful new forms of social organization and knowledge exchange to emerge. I am going to use this platform for a mini-educational session on cell phones (as per August 2005) because - over the campfire this weekend in Maine I was talking with a man who astutely realized that if we didn't make plans, we would be completely happy. It is because we are beholden to deadlines that we fear failing, that we endure stress, and entertain ideas of success (there were definite references to, for instance, success in a 9-5 paper-pushing job). I told him that it is actually quite nice that now our society allows for constant communication - therefore enabling us to forgo duties and appointments because we are constantly reachable... "In Korea, there are these raves," says Sky Dayton, CEO of wireless joint venture SK-EarthLink. "Kids go to an abandoned warehouse, and they're dancing to music they're each listening to on their own cell phones." New York has a party in Union Square once a year where everyone jams to the music in their headphones. This, while odd, is so natural now. WE are extremely social but will sit in a group and talk on our cell phones. We would rather communicate via IM than via actual conversation.

some new links on cell phones 1 2 3 4 We don’t think about being digital—we are digital.

Maine is really beautiful. to the right is our crew. Myself, Stephanie, Maria, and Dave. To the left is a serene picture that Stephanie took on our last evening.

07.21.05

On the virulence of “fantasies”’ – “A fantasy talks back, speaks as a master, not a slave; it exists like a son finally free after long suffering under an iron rule and who diabolically, remorselessly is ecstatic over the murder of his father; he exists freely and reflects none other than human nature unchained.” George Bataille

The language of fantasy is restricted to our increasingly limited perspectives composed by a dictating media. Our thoughts are only allowed by our understanding of language.

For greater efficiency and greater enjoyment, your mood is being standardized.

NOW: The unknown merges with the known. The real mixes with the fake. There is an ongoing flux that happens between the two. There is no need to simulate – simulacrum is now an outdated term. Simulations are now as real as the smell of your morning coffee – wait, isn't that the smell that you downloaded to emit from your laptop every morning, to entice you into waking up? Were you really sleeping before, or did your brain just vegetate into its natural iPod state? The back and forth is unnecessarily indiscernible.

We stayed in the Hamptons last weekend for a project with the `scope art fair. My hair was blond then - I intended to dye it blond to be portrayed as more "beach-like" as part of our performance where Paul and I transformed ourselves into buff, tanned beings. Now the hair is back to dark brown. I would love to stop changing it, I think I am just bored with hair colors easily. The pool Paul and I constructed for the Hamptons project was on the cover of Artnet.com. Today, Thursday July 21,is the date of the second London bombing incident, not second ever, of course, but second after the War on Terror was proclaimed. Heightened security on nyc trains, there is a possibility at any time of anyone having their bags searched. Also, I am afraid to say, there is a ghost in my apartment - I slept in the living room last night, while Paul took the bed. Ramsay was passing through on his way to Baltimore with a Jeep full of moving boxes. He stopped by and stayed over as well. In the morning, Ramsay and the two cats were in the living room as the statue in the middle of the shelf in the living room flew off the side. We were all witness to this. In the past, at night, if the front hall light is left on it turns itself off, literally the switch flips down. I can walk over to the switch and flip it back up. I have never experienced living with a ghost before. Enough about that though, I can not really describe it well, but I can say, I have no reason not to believe in ghosts, and I really can't figure out how any of this is happening. However, on to other, more frightening things. I have been experimenting with sound podcasts. That sounds like nothing, and maybe it is nothing. I am taking the sound, compiling it and making one track in "Soundtrack" - free with Final Cut. People probably recommend even garage band as a better program, but with Soundtrack, I really haven't learned how to have any control over the sound, so I am forced to leave the tuning to a minimal, and that is of course good for this project. Then a control group listens to the sound and translates it. The major podcast stopped working 2.5 weeks after installed, abruptly. I then took them all offline, because... Sound art can be a dangerous thing. The search engines are of course recording everything we think may be ephemeral, so the podcasts are tagged somewhere. Of course we filled the pool with nothing but the silliest of status waters:

Here - a nice quote from either Wired or The Economist (the two magazines I was reading last night, one of which I copied some text from:) " Visiting one booming megachurch outside Phoenix recently, a typical scene: a drive through latte stand, Krispy Kreme doughnuts at every service, and sermons about 'how to discipline your children, how to reach your professional goals, how to invest your money, how to reduce your debt.' On Sundays, children played with church-distributed Xboxes, and many congregants had signed up for a twice-weekly aerobics class called Firm Believers. "

The RCID is the name for the territory that Walt Disney World occupies, and it is a uniquely autonomous zone, which hardly has to answer to the state government at all. The zone can build its own nukes, run its own building codes, and generally do whatever it likes.

06.19.05

A year ago around this time I was in the desert outside of Bend, Oregon. testing a desert-specific wearable home with a homemade WPS. RIM let me test a 50mileRAD wifi phone (meaning there did not have to be a wifi connection for 50 miles and it would work.) DJ rigged a portable satellite so the blackberry's rays wouldn't be as harmful to me. I could set the satellite 5 ft away from me and my connection to the real world. Anyway, next weekend I will meet Peter (completely fun and smart person I am fully enjoying spending time with) at Wired's Nextfest, Chicago Pier. I am very interested in the following exhibits at nextfest: Nomads and Nanomaterials by Univ. of Mich., Cyber Warfare Integration Network by Northrup Grumman, Future Force Warrior, by the army, Water Scarcity Solutions by GE. Fogscreen by Fogscreen. Mars Suit by NASA, Interactive Pillows by the Interactive Institute, oh, and Genetic Savings and Clone is a great name. I would like to test some of these prototypes on my second trip to the desert, at the end of August. Dave Smith recently had me re-look into Constant's New Babylon (http://www.notbored.org/homo-ludens.html), and Constant had some beautiful ideas about social order, city-as-ocean, efficiency, and the attractiveness of spatial freedom and dynamism.

www.waterways2005.blogspot.com | www.lifeboathamptons.blogspot.com

06.04.05

Renee is in Venice. She told me to" take it easy" after I told Jerry Saltz what was wrong with the world. Luckily, he agreed.

This entry is going to be about Walking. The comments people make, the flyers people pawn off to you, the thin heel of your shoe as it jams into the unnoticed crack in the sidewalk... Two people behind me. The guy tells the woman, “I had a dream I had sex with Paris Hilton last night. It was really weird.” The woman with the Bloomingdales bag on the side of the street, “Alright Asshole” she says out loud to the bus driver as he beeps the horn at us – a signal reading - get back on the sidewalk because I might run you over. One hour later I was that woman waiting for the C train, swearing under my breath, and then swearing out loud when the A train would screech by. I probably should attend manner school. Before I went into the subway I was walking in front of another couple, man and woman. The American looking woman says to the man in a turban, “You know what would be great here?” (As we are walking down Lexington at 61st) “A Starbucks” she finishes. I think to myself, should I turn around and tell her to walk 3 blocks down? Of course not. I just thought that whole 3 hours was beautiful before I went underground.

05.19.05


We are constantly attempting to define and redefine ourselves and everything around us.
We are bewitched into believing that time slips away, and this belief is the basis of time actually slipping away. Time is the work of attrition of that adaptation to which people must resign themselves so long as they fail to change the world. Age is a role, an acceleration of "lived" time on the plane of appearances, an attachment to things. Survival is life in slow motion. How much energy it takes to remain on the level of appearances! The media gives wide currency to a whole personal hygiene of survival: avoid strong emotions, watch your blood pressure, eat less, drink in moderation only, survive in good health so that you can continue playing your role. We die of inertia, whenever the charge of death that we carry with us reaches saturation point. -Raoul Vaneigem has some other extremely great things to say like - You always learn to dance for yourself on the off-beat of the official world. And you must follow your demands to their logical conclusion, not accept a compromise at the first setback. Consumer society's frantic need to manufacture new needs adroitly cashes in on the way-out, the bizarre and the shocking. Black humor and real agony turn up on Madison Avenue. Flirtation with non-conformism is an integral part of prevailing values. Awareness of the decay of values has its role to play in sales strategy. More and more pure rubbish is marketed. It goes on to talk about the figurine salt-shaker of Kennedy with bullet holes through which to pour salt...

05.14.05

We Love this review (visit: http://www.portlandmercury.com/portland/Content?oid=33632&category=22127)..
I have spent the last four months working on "We go round and round in the night", as well as forming, with 3 others, G-77, an outlet for all of our dreams. I have been traveling to Portland, OR., Silicon Valley, and San Francisco, CA. Next month I will be in Venice for the Biennial where with Renee Vara, Elena Bajo, and a few others recently associated, we will create "Waterways". Waterways is an installation to take place on a large 200 person boat in the waters around the Biennial. Artists participating will contribute work that can be seen in a social context, that is related to environmental and community ideas. Please email me if you would be interested in participating. In July I will participate in SCOPE Hamptons, with Paul Middendorf. We worked in Miami together, on Lifeboat. In the Hamptons, we will create an amazing, and hysterical installation/performance that I will announce more about later. And for anyone who reads this in the next week, and is free on Sunday, my studio mates and I are going to have a bbq/party = Par-T-Que in the studio and on the roof of May 22nd. Our studio is 510B Waverly St, Brooklyn, NY.

As events roll past on the screen and are forgotten as quickly as possible, so at the same time nothing must disappear and everything must be preserved and excavated. What's bad about this is not that we are burdened with a waste problem, but that we are becoming waste ourselves. The Net turns human traffic directly into waste. Baudrillard goes in great detail into Biosphere II, a project beyond apocalypse and the end, without having solved the problem of the end. This evil ecology assumes that soon there will only be interactive subjects, without objects. Natural selection has been eliminated, everything is neatly embalmed and offered up to artificial survival.
The compact disc. It does not wear out, even when one uses it. That is terrible. As if one had never used it, as if one had never existed at all. Baudrillard cannot laugh at all at this sort of ad-speak. He shivers at the fallacy of realization, which wants to exhaust all possibility. Everywhere around him he sees an impulse to perfection, a maximalisation of capabilities, limits which must be reached. The universalisation of data and knowledge is merely a preliminary stage of their disappearance, just as with stars: their maximum expansion is followed by agony. The indifference which arises from this is burdened by a lack of difference. The transparent neo-individualist (no longer self-directed but other-directed) can no longer jump over his own shadow, because he no longer has one. He no longer differentiates himself from himself and is therefore indifferent to himself; not a schizophrenic but an isophrenic. Our computers too long for difference - they are autistic, bachelor machines: they suffer, and avenge themselves with an unrestrained tautology of their own language.

03.71.05

Now it is March 16th, 8pm. For the first time in 3 weeks I’m hanging out in the laundry mat, washing, working on a story about what the future will be like. I am completely distracted by thinking about the past weekend. This is just a revised stream of consciousness. Topic: What goes on with art/art fairs. I am working through some thoughts I revisit now and then. NY is the capitalist art center. An entire social system revolves around art as a commodity. How do artists deal with this and embrace this? Are we concerned with how we fit in? Should we? After this weekend of attending parties, being part of a scene, seeing some good friends and plenty of acquaintances, stirring up some trouble, at times attempting real conversations, at times looking and watching fashion. After all is done, I am left wondering (not a new thought) about art versus fashion. About artists as producers not unlike fashion designers, with a new line each season. In the following paragraphs, reader, prepare yourself for some blanket statements, but keep in mind, I have seen some amazing work this weekend by the likes of Paul Noble and other diligent, imaginative, detailed draw-ers. I am going to single out drawings for the sake of this argument, because of how fashionable they are at the moment, and how it is so hard not to take part in that, if it isn’t your real love. For a great majority of artists, drawings are completed as commodity. Young collectors love drawings because they are affordable, whimsical, and a sort-of secret (many times now contrasting dark and pretty - because this has been in fashion for like 10 seasons now.) Oh yea, us nihilistic artists are quick learners. We pretty much all produce these fast commodities to go alongside our artwork now, or sometimes, that is our contribution, total. I don’t mean to say that drawings aren’t necessary to process or not to say they don't put us in another enjoyable art-making mindset, but if we really sit down and think about it, 9 times out of 10 we make these for the collector, or the fashion. I was brought up with the idea that artists were sort of radical, extreme, challenging people to see another side of things, forward thinkers.
In our society, order occupies all of our lives, the struggle of playing in systems and working cleverly around them, subverting, agreeing, falling away. Coming from a person who talks with many artists about their work, ideas, the social atmosphere of art in NY, I realize artists on average, here, make what they want to make but also make what predictably sells, what will get them invited to the prestigious parties, accepted, and god, do we want acceptance and approval. We are the boys and girls that want a taste of rock-star fame, with the prestige of the intellectual, and that is usually enough. Yea, we get off on cool ideas, but then we put them through a process, a conceptualization we learned in college, we tack on meaning, we reference it slightly, we allude to something more - open to a viewers interpretation, of course. At the armory, I saw from across the room some work in flashing neon referencing death metal. I didn’t need to get any closer or think about what it was doing. It was so automatic. Wow, brilliant! Just like walking by Forever 21 and seeing the 70’s fashion revival happening inside. Wait, but this was tongue and cheek. Yea, this would be something to comment on inside of a club, white interior, when you get tired of staring at the person you came with. You really feel like you are part of something cool. When you are in on the joke, you are most likely falling for a product. It is the easy way not to think. It keeps us static, it makes us feel elite, it is a superficial feeling. I am thinking back to the election. One complaint we had about John Kerry after he lost the election was that he was not the Visionary that Mr. Bush was. I want to see some visionaries. I want to see some more people that care about the world, not just the art world. I want to see more people being true to themselves, and damnit, I’m not making any more drawings - so get ‘em now. They are very limited. (RESPONSES FROM NINETEENEIGHTY)

02.22.05

What is the speed of the body when it has been force-fed by high-tech? Genetic enhancement (technologies that transfer genetic material to modify non-pathological human traits) is unlike gene therapy that treats disease. Gene enhancements mainly provide cosmetic alterations. Physical traits that could be altered include appearance such as hair or eye colour, height, physical build, muscle mass, decreased body fat, improved strength and increased endurance; behavioral traits could be changed as well to improve intelligence, temperament and altering basic personality traits are already in testing stages. Herein lies a new society. In media-saturated societies, being surveyed has gradually been made "friendly" and transformed into an activity, to the extent that it is no longer a condition to be feared. but one to be courted and desired. The here-to-stay phenomena of reality television, blogs, webcams, and the rise of the media mise-en-scene as the primary form of social authentication. Tiny transponders or RFID (radio frequency identification) tags -- which can be embedded in just about anything, including humans -- allow precise locationing of objects within flexible production and distribution systems. They are what allow customers to precisely track the trajectory of their Federal Express package. Gillette has already embedded them in cheap disposable razors, and of course the military was an early pioneer of RFID. I am constantly reminded of this book "Holy Anorexia". It talks about a time where girls vying for God's love, beat, tortured themselves, and compared it to girls today vying for the approval of a society, a media that has become a God worthy of starving for, or abusing yourself for. In this case, media has become one of a few strong catalysts in a future superior society. Personally, I am going to get some wings engineered so i can finally fly instead of always walking.

ok so here's the plan, according to this month's Z MAGAZINE in the autonomous
zone of Chiapas, Mexico where indigenous (mostly Mayan) rebellion has taken
root under SubCommandante Marcos the forty or fifty or so villages are adorned
by many hundreds of locally created murals celebrating/commemorating the local
historical struggle. you and i travel to Chiapas and you photograph (primarily
the murals but also scenes of local life) while i write a travelog both of which
to be compiled/edited into a book. waddaya say sista souljah?

(I declined for now but) email jason if you are a photographer and a sista souljah and this is appealing to you @ overripetripe@earthlink.net - he is a funny guy and great writer anyways.

01.03.05

In the 18th century, masks were what we shared, our ability to play a role in public and drop the role through a process of intimacy. Lost communities are quickly rebuilt by disasters or a need to fill something. Who are we? Is the we-to-me important? Were we ever meant to be happy? Is our life about our happiness? The less people speak, the more that the tools of fantasy continue to bond and a sense of common personality is unearthed. Personality? What a bizarre concept, and oh how much time we spend cultivating them. We can't sit still when we're alone. We go from one thing to the next


12.06.04

Due to the recent re-election of G. W. Bush, the strengthening of embargos and trade regulations, flux within the idea of borders, the power structure within our country, the lack of concern for the environment within our administration, Paul Middendorf and I decided to make something. This took careful consideration. Art is one of the few spheres of our society where we can - and are even expected to speak freely, to offer an alternative. So we put out a call to artists. We told them what we were doing – going down to Miami Beach for Art Basel to build a Lifeboat to use as a base for showing off artwork. We told them that we would sail this boat and dock it a few times a day so that people could come aboard and view or listen to the artwork, and talk with us. We gave ourselves 2 days to build, and then it would be ready. Miami Beach is the perfect place to, through the artwork aboard, explore immigration, pirates, utopias, natural and unnatural environments.
For the two weeks prior to Art Basel, from the time that we thought of building the Lifeboat until the time that we did, I was pretty excited and anxious. We both spent the time contacting and securing artists, trying to find funding and supplies, people to help us when we arrived, and devise a plan on how/where to do this. I arrived at the airport first, and met a friend, Jill, who was just moving back to Miami from New York. She arrived in a large Penske truck with two others. It was only the day before that I had secured the large 55 gal drums from Cintas Uniforms, located pretty far away – almost in the Everglades. So on the way there with the moving truck, we stopped for abandoned usable wood, and by the time we were done, Paul had arrived. That night Jill donated the truck and her power tools to the cause. We collected more supplies and slept in the truck in the parking lot for the Positions (the shipping containers that galleries participating in Art Basel turned into exhibition space for smaller galleries.) In the morning we began the process of weaseling our way into the Positions and building the Lifeboat there. By the end of the day, all of the people in charge of the Positions thought that we were an official part of Art Basel, were bringing us food, drinks, and when Paul left to do errands, they even stepped in to help me build it. That night we attended the opening parties, and as the night’s end approached we gathered a group of radicals and asked them to help us move the Lifeboat out to the shore. Before we had moved it 10 feet the barrels escaped their casing, and the boat broke apart. We carried it piece by piece to the beach (Coordinates: 22nd St. and the Beach), and reassembled it as “Twisted Sister” was playing, not 100 yards away. In the morning we repaired the Lifeboat and created an installation with the art.
Mike Nirenberg made the mast-head and was driving down from New Jersey, he would arrive the next night, and packages for the Lifeboat from artists kept arriving. The exhibition throughout was continually expanding. It became about excess. At night, people would tag it with their own marks – including Jeroen Jongeleen of Influenza. People would cross it on their way to the beach or come specifically to see it - one day, three separate people from Cuba came up to the Lifeboat and told us stories of the memories coming back to them by seeing this installation, telling about the (usually) five days it took with compass and 5 or 6 people on a raft smaller than what we had built, and making it to Miami Beach. Another day, we were asked to participate in an event in the Design District, across from ©Dietch. It was organized with performances. We re-created the boat-part out of cardboard brought everyone’s artwork and showed it off to enormous amounts of people. Much of the work touched people in one way or another. We gave away music CD’s – The Red Coats are Coming wrote a song specifically for Lifeboat, gave away John Vitale’s Propaganda photographs in a bottle and Sam Gould’s pamphlets on masked activities, text by Elena Bajo on the whale held captive in Miami – Lolita, and Libia Pérez de Siles de Castro and Olafur Arni Olafsson text that accompanied their poster work – Etnothriller. Buyers and dealers were interested in buying some of the work that they saw on the Lifeboat, and we have passed the artist’s contact info to these people to contact them directly. It was an adventure and we will do something similar soon.

lifeboat
We invited 60 artists from around the world to send parts of a raft to Miami during Art Basel and assembled the raft on the beach. We needed to make something public, to have some agency. During the installation we recorded peoples stories and response to the pieces, including their stories about coming to Miami on a raft from Cuba. Being open to learning from visitors was very important, and really opened me up to the chance aspects of working in public space.


11.15.04


10am on a Tuesday morning at 59th street station – the 4 train. I take the escalator from the bottom level to the upper level. I slide through the space between the top of the escalator and the railing, saving me the distance of 4 people who actually turn the corner where the designers intended turning. Then I am stopped in my tracks. There is an older gentleman. He is walking in place. He is trying to get out of the station, but he is stuck in time. Stuck in a loop of movement but the same place, I think P. Virillio would call this “the feedback loop” Should I tell somebody that this man is caught in the feedback loop? I decided not to since it was far more likely that this man was in the right place and I the wrong, as I passed him, exited the subway and made my way to 767 Lexington Ave. Perpetual happiness is a myth hatched in Bloomingdales.

11.01.04

The process of traveling from Brooklyn to Newark Airport wouldn’t be so daunting if it wasn’t a 6am flight. I found myself leaving at midnight to catch the last NJ Transit line (the last train is at 2am) for all of a 1/2 hr drive. I in the silent airport slept after a half awake conversation with a guy who was working two jobs after immigrating to New Jersey from Cuba. I told him that I had to lie down and he directed me to a couch. At 4:30 am, when a man walked by me with a Seattle’s Best cup, I got up and headed to the café to re-open the Socialist Review with renewed strength emanating from a paper cup of fresh brew, and sat down with the article I half-finished, in which Noam Chomsky discusses everything from Nixon/Kissinger professions to the Military-Industrial Complex to Regan and the formation of the early Al Queda. At 6am, I paid $6.95 to log onto Newark’s airport connection so as to send off some emails. I opened one from Matt Jones outlining a project that he has been working on with Kadar Brock. The idea as explained was beautiful - the email came complete with visuals as well. The last few times that I have talked to Jones since the recent selection of Bush as our Leader for another term, he has pulled out his copy of the Communist Manifesto. As miniscule and flash-art meets Surface – if we can use magazines to describe cold, appearance-biased investments, this seemed to have tripled my respect for him. Matt was going to read that book and re-evaluate our “democracy” and probably go “red”. These ideas make me want to dump this disgusting cup of Seattle’s Best all over Newark. The vast impenetrability of the American landscape that I can see outside the 360 degree panoramic windows don’t allow me to do this, as the view is separated by some damn thick glass and miles of empty parking lots. Chomsky mentions Woodrow Wilson’s Committee on Public Information, the first official/state propaganda in the US. Its goal was to drive a relatively pacifist population into becoming hysterical anti-German fanatics, and it succeeded. I am ready to leave to fly to Portland, Oregon. The election is still very much in the air here, and peoples' emotions are high on either side. Private radio stations are having a field day with insults. I manage to run from one “blue zone” to the next. This, of course, does not really distort my very balanced reality : ) I still get to be in touch with my “red” roots as my family from birth is quite a religious/conservative group. Where NY allows people here to live on a parallel to the majority of the country –it can very easily be said that we all create our own realities, our own happiness, our own islands. The island is the driving force – where we all are – or all want (know it or not) to make this our reality. We can sail these concrete islands out into the ocean and each one of us can live out his/her own “Kon-tiki” or “Survivor” fantasy. The tent show on flooding is coming during pinnacle time. Behind-the-scenes corporations like Bechtel accumulate more and more private rites to water in the third world and the first world. As the landscape changes there will be mass- exodus from places where once water was good and plentiful but has since dried up or become unusable/contaminated. This will determine crops, migration, community roots in a world that is becoming more and more transient. Will we crave community in the traditional sense or will we let technologies be a surrogate? In times of survival, technology will become useless but those already ingrained and constantly used will be a part of us. What will the distortions be in interactions? It seems it is not far off a time when water and oil will be the causation of many wars and tragedy.

11.03.04

Right now so many of my friends are talking about ways to take their minds off of the election, so I wanted to quote this recent New York Times article by Ron Suskind - he is describing his encounter with a senior aide to Bush. He writes: "The aide said that guys like me were 'in what we call the reality-based community,' which he defined as people who 'believe that solutions emerge from your judicious study of discernable reality.' I nodded and murmured something about enlightenment principles and empiricism. He cut me off. 'That's not the way the world really works anymore,' he continued. 'We're an empire now, and when we act, we create our own reality. And while you're studying that reality -- judiciously, as you will -- we'll act again, creating other new realities, which you can study too, and that's how things will sort out. We're history's actors... and you, all of you, will be left to just study what we do.'" Also, this brings up 1990 Summer. Saddam Hussein invaded Kuwait and we had the first full-on TV war as entertainment. That brings up the co-opting of realistic video games by private sector and the military.

I got this great email from my friend Dave today, "We can realize today that we are in the middle of our adventure story when we thought we were at the end. Like the heroes of all adventure stories we have to redouble our efforts, face our fears and call upon hidden reserves of power. We’re going to have to intensify our challenges to our elected officials, the news media and the culture of fear and repression. We are going to have to build grassroots coalitions, pool our money and talent and maybe even run for office. Certainly we are deeply wounded, but we can scrounge up some reasons to be encouraged for our country: The left is more organized, better financed and more wide-spread than it has ever been; Alternative media is gaining power and influence. The idea that America can be a functioning empire has been seriously discredited. We have reignited a progressive movement that has grown rather quickly and it will continue to grow."


This evening, Matt Jones said he began reaffirming what is important in life and what is a waste of time (always an important thing to do), he is figuring out what he wants to focus on. I had friends from Holland here not too long ago who described usa as the third world. Maybe they just meant NYC, at the time I didn’t question them. I guess they were talking about the disparity between rich and poor, and that makes sense. [This got me imagining: The streets, the mall of the third world, the equivalent to the way parts of S. Africa is - people with shopping carts malling the streets. Malls don't escape any walk of life - and that was a sad thought.] OR maybe they meant things like the patriot act, the blind ideologies and imperial fantasies, with blatant propaganda thrown in to the mix - and recycled, puked out. Back to fantasy – numbed by everything we are numbed by here - fantasy offers us an escape. The further we slip into fantasy, the less physical reality we have. This most likely contributes to the resurgence of conservativism in America (did it ever subside?) "What is now called conservatism in America just refers to the control of women's reproductive rights and the right to consume gasoline without noting that greenhouse gasses are a form of global terrorism." (quote from an anonymous emailer) Well, our fantasy economy will someday crumble when we come to a time when we need to care about reality. On the other hand, desire is a growing and never ending fantasy. (Interesting philosophy that should be explored further…) We underestimated the role of religious issues in the rallying of the faithful in the reelection of Bush, and the role of the dreams and imaginaries that his administration and the media provide. Are we ready to confront THE DEATH OF REASON in America? A colonial imagination of a (sick) global fantasy. Now I will go to a bar and verbally communicate with some local friends and strangers, but am open for verbal communication on any of these things.

10.16.04

This is a loose timeline for the videos that I have been constructing:


1- Borders go from virtual to fiction. Places produce and trade at a rapid pace for one another. Language collides into one system, time-recording collides into one system.
2- The industries such as food, news, entertainment, etc. are owned by blanket-company, Bechtel (http://www.bechtel.com/). Delicate balance is lost.
3- Homeless utilize wearable-homes, and shopping-cart museum-machines.
4- Mass amounts of architecture look the same. People can not find their homes.
5- “Everymapspectus” becomes essential.
6- The substantial climate shift. Random storms and disasters result. They build personal-islands, walls around land, pockets of underground museums to the past.
7- Naturally their skin-color is homogenized. They become asexual, while reverting to primal creatures.
8- Naturally the wearable-homes take on human function. People have sex with reacher/receivers and breathe through the homes.
9- They begin “The New Way” via GPMcommunicatorsystem.
10- They make nonsensical machines for familiarity and to busy themselves. They do not know how to build anymore.

10.14.04

I made dinner for Libia and Oliver the other night. Kadar came as well. It was the night after a Kerry/Bush debate and the couple (currently from Holland) was shocked to say the least. Well, what is not shocking about it, of course? Kerry's insistence on "Killing the Terrorists" and Bush's ignorance, or a debate full of soundbites geared to an audience of idiots. Kadar and I agreed. In the Victorian era, people would cover table legs with covers, so as to remain pure and prudish. We still today try to break away from it, with dress, with personality, but the prude conservativism is making a beautiful comeback these days, with all of the protectionisms, nationality, praying on the tele, blaming the bad. Obsolete meets advertising. It can make anything valid again. Reminds me of The Man Behind the Curtain in Wizard of Oz. They also remarked on the insane amount of painting here as opposed to Europe, which I knew would come up and met the challenge, we got into a good debate one night in front of the mermaids at Coral Room after witnessing a wonderfully acceptable show by E.Benson, which left me on the losing side of the debate. Two against one. I tried to get Matt Jones in on the discussion, the amazing creator of paintings he is, but unfortunately he was distracted, so we ended up coming to a resolution without him.

Today is close to Oct 14, but not really. The time is 5:15 in this part of the world and the sun is magnificent on the buildings outside of the studio. I have streaks of pink nail polish on my hand as a result of making some art here, and there are parts of an old door knob on the floor given to me by David from Robert Mann who so thoughtfully saved them from the trash for me. They are shiny, and they are there. On the floor. Along with some old Christoper Pike books - why? Maybe the cover art. I'll go to Portland soon. A few weeks. Mike Nirenberg had an open studio in Williamsburg, where he showed a loop of his horror film. I saw 4 who used to go to PNCA, all now living here, and it was very enjoyable. There was also this brilliant performance by these two with German accents who broke out into this rap about prejudices against Germans, and being a minority. I liked it so much because it was hilariously entertaining, and at that moment I just wanted to be entertained. Also Anu was here from Norway with two Icelandic friends, and they are quite critical of art but wanted to laugh a bit too. Spencer and I went to Maine. He took the bus from New Orleans during the hurricane, arrived simultaneously with Clinton, and we had a busy weekend, a long drive to Maine for Jessica's wedding on this island on Moosehead Lake. The car (Sarah's) had a problem on the drive back, we stopped in Portland, ME to reminisce and to have the car looked at. We made it back to brooklyn around 2am, and Spencer left the next morning. He was sick -and sort of annoyed that I was busier than I thought I would be. But now it is alright. (?) The sculpture, "Pirate Utopic Command Center 69' Chevy Chevy Bang Bang" was brought up to Peekskill by the HVCCA for their Peekskill Projects, and nineteeneighty had an exhibit on Crystals there as well. It seemed to have gone well but I was in Maine so have no first-hand knowledge. Meanwhile, Disjecta participates in Jupiter Art Fair in Oregon with some photos, as well as Lyons Wier with some photos at Photo New York. Kadar went with me to the opening of "Tomorrow" at the Science Museum. We went to a strange diner out in queens first. It reminded me of something out of East Windsor, CT. Sort of depressing but it was a beautiful Sunday so there was no need for it to be. Then we went for a bike ride in the country. Well Prospect park isn't the country. Alas...

Recently survivors comes up a great deal. The nomads who live out on the street below my apartment, with the shopping carts full of modern collections. Sometimes I feel like a synthetic "survivor". Since Holland when I finally got away from NY and being engulfed in a stream of fast moving fashion, technology, pop, etc. and had to do everything with nothing, started to find very interesting items discarded, began to see what I could make with cardboard, with motherboards, with bicycle parts, I have been addicted to these discarded treasures, adopt them and turn them into past-future homing devices and other important entities.

08.29.04

So, we have moved. Sarah, Stephanie and I secured a nice place on the 6th floor of our apartment building. We decided to get a couch. We drove to New Hampshire to get this fine babe, yep, the 2 gals and I. You may ask, why not try the local craigs-list, or Housing Works?? The couch is a depression era, re-upholstered sitter complete with an off-white pastoral scene. It will provide gentle contrast with the craps games and incessant traffic on the street below it/us. But, on the other hand, it will blend seamlessly with the pink marble kitchen table, the light pink chairs with black accents. How prevalent eBay has become in the lives of young city people…how it surpasses the glitz of craigs-list and the treasures on the side of the road. No, this is not true. It just happened we all liked this one and had to go to New Hapmshire anyways, because Sarah and Stephanie had never seen it up there. Now I’m ridin north, the Unknown Soldier by The Doors is playing full blast, so we can hear it above the plastic blowing in the wind, the plastic that is covering the depression-era couch that is atop Stephanie’s car. It is dark. We are passing silos in northern Massachusetts, heading to CT. I look forward to my next visit up here – a few weeks away -when Spencer and I drive up to Jess’s wedding on an island in Moosehead Lake, ME. I love this girl, and can’t wait to see Spencer.
Well, I wrote that in the car, on the laptop. Today, Sunday, I asked Stephanie to go with me to the Billionaires for Bush rally as the RNC begins here tomorrow. She knew she wanted to go to one of the marches – there are quite a few – but not to which one. So we dressed up today in our finest pearls and dresses (after getting the couch into the apartment at approximately 530 this morning), brought some champagne flutes, someone in the march gave us a sign that read Still Loyal to Big Oil – Bush/Cheney 04… I was glad we were a part of that. Satire and humor are still the best medicine in my opinion. And getting a double take is a hard thing to pull off midst half a million people marching to get the bush out of our city/out of office. Zander and Kate were arrested.

07.31.04

La Guardia had been a brilliant morning. It began - dark at 5am 125th and Park Ave. waiting for the bus, carrying a good amount of camera equipment, sufficient amount of clothing, and more books than I would ever read in a month, never mind five days. I used to carry with me three books a day because I never knew which I would be in the mood to ride on the train, or wherever. Of course that was when I lived in Boston. That was necessary -it is a damn boring town.
Here. At La Guardia. It was early morning and a week gone by, I remember it like it was This morning – the scent of the Coffee Beanerie, the initial sip of overpriced coffee with half and half, the casino song emitting from the McDonalds cash register as it started up, gate still down. The people coming out of the walls into an empty eatery as soon as the gate rose. I thought I was almost alone in there - except for the couple who looked like they stepped out of The Great Gastby and the prominent voice of the woman talking at the man about his new shoes. It appeared that they might have been going to a wedding. They also did not care about the Morning Opening of McDonalds. I began to feel exhausted which possessed me to write an immense amount of letters in a rather short block of time (if time can be blocks) – multitasking with my coffee and the apple Sarah gave to me before I left.
The day before we went to visit Granny in CT at Foxwoods casino. This is sad for me to write, we were supposed to go to the beach, but it was raining. She has cancer and is not doing well at all. She wanted to go to the casino because she thinks it is fun. I think anywhere with my family is fun, aside from the times…nevermind. Haha - a joke. Anyways, it was pretty fun. Sarah and I went to a buffet and took some fruit for the road. My aunt thought it was funny and used the phrase “starving artist”, which was really the case a couple of months ago – before credit became an option again. Europeans don’t really believe in trading a card swipe for whatever you want (yet).
So the serenity of the airport and its faceless participants (described well by Spencer when he said – if we were walking on those rolling floor mats and someone just went “blip” and disappeared, no one would notice) made for a perfect morning (perfection not being that difficult to find). When I arrived in New Orleans I noticed that the goa trance in La Guardia had been replaced with some cheap rendition of New Orleans/bebop jazz. Where the hell was I? It struck me that this may be a bit like Disney world. (My god… when I typed Disney into word, the auto-correct capitalized it for me. Well, he is important in the way that Hollywood erects statues of actors in prominent poses from prominent movies - which feels wrong because pop is in theory much more transient than centuries of a language - but of course that is not reality, they are both as liquid as the Hudson). Then I saw Spencer’s smile and we kissed in an uncomfortable, first kiss sort of way. Spencer is amazing. New Orleans is a weird, poverty stricken, below sea level, dangerous yet beautiful place.
New York, the greatest show on earth. Greeted by incessant laughter. The gap that existed between black and white in New Orleans was not in the least bit there at La Guardia. Everyone talking. Everyone is really alive. The only place in America where we are all bonded by a few common enemies – Bush. The patriot act. Etcetera. In New Orleans, a few people cared. Here it appears that everyone cares. We are not shy. I think it was James Brown who said, we’re loud and we’re proud. Well, not exactly.
Besides all of this, Nineteeneighty as a group has a show up at Rare Gallery. It is great. Here, a few small images but it really needs to be seen in person.

07.10.04

So it goes, we meet at Grassroots for a good time. Most of the guys played Magic and the rest of us talk about politics and art. This time there were more girls around. Tara was there – we have been trying to go to BAM together for the Fassbinder retrospective. We talked about (mentioned) how great Fassbinder was – I just recommended to her “Beware of the Holy Whore,” which she found more cultish, and less humanistic, and I strongly had to disagree. If I can discuss “Beware…” for a minute, I would have to say that it is magnificently humanistic, maybe in a way we don’t want to admit that people are. But Beware is about the breakdown of these people, fighting for the spotlight, sexual frustration, masochism, people slowly trying to destroy each other, unresponsiveness and obsessive love interests. It is backhandedly political – I am apparently a giant fan of this film - but I really want to see his film I think called, Germany in Autumn. This is maybe more traditional to Fassbinder’s humanism and really supposed to be a film that is about him, fighting with his mother, supposedly one of cinemas most revealing and open moments about a filmmaker. He also did a movie after Genets novel Querelle. I would like to see that one and Chinese Roulette with Godard’s wife, Anna Karenina in it.

07.02.04

Being away but hearing about everything that is going on in America from afar – of course it was pretty scary and unreal - especially in such a relatively liberal environment. Maybe, had I been here, my anger about having rights and privacy taken away would have been softened by a bombardment of warning emails to the effect of: “Bloomberg has ordered 12,000 extra body bags…and this Friday 6/11 don’t ride the subways” which have been arriving my inbox since I have been back to NY. That is one of the strangest things – why have I been receiving these random, basically anonymous emails only since I have been back?? Anyways, the power of instilling fear is one of the greatest powers over people in fairly comfortable situations. In Holland as well, people are of course conscious of terrorism, but also of dikes breaking and flooding. In politics there is an expression “a polder society” meaning a society of consensus – polder is used in making dikes, insinuating that there is a consensus within Holland that people all need to protect from flooding, so now polder = consensus. While I was there and of course now, I am very much questioning general differences I see in American vs. European art, asking myself – what makes art effective? Coming to one conclusion – when art is implemented in other facets of life it becomes more effective.
When I walked into Exit Art I was prepared to support Elena and knew little about the exhibition. I immediately believed the performance of security at the door, preparing myself to go back to a police state when I entered NYC. When leaving Rotterdam, the government had just begun implementing random searches on the subway – to deter crime. Similar to what will happen here! But it surprised me that this searching was taking place in a gallery, but who knows, it is a big building, just moved, whatever. I thought it was weird that at least to myself, I associate security with more public places. A gallery is pretty public, open to the public, yet the public doesn’t really go there. Art as I usually view it is in a pretty insular context. Does exit art expect it to get rowdy? yea, kind of looks like a nightclub, anyways, with my confusion about the performance I came away thinking, yes, that was very effective for me, an artist, to see. And I hope as well for many other artists to see. Public art and art in general is strongest in public. Bringing it inside to exit art was a strange line – it was entertaining but at the same time very emotional and eye-opening to these issues – I guess if I was defining “what makes a good show” then something like this show would be my definition.
Chris Cunningham is creating things I completely love. One reason I think art is not taken seriously is not because people are creating dreamy, lofty things but just because art is insular, and on top of that always referring to itself – which is boring and outsiders don’t understand. Art is still effective when it leaves its sphere – when artists work with architecture, when they work in public spaces, work with a history other than art. And the reverse is true, art is usually very strong when say, a scientist makes something and puts it into an art context. On another note – I liked the exit art show for re-exposing these ideas to artists, although it took what is great about public art (being in public) and contained it inside the gallery.
What I do want is to make a story where people don’t live in traditional houses anymore, where they carry everything they need on them, in a way that is futuristic but also about a time where we didn’t need any of the crap that we have now, in a way a traditional Inuit lifestyle, however - we don’t have friends, we don’t know how to interact, we don’t know how to have sex, our suits take over as extensions for ourselves. We need to interact only for reasons like saving our land (the man in the aquarium is the man fixing the wall and the man who talks to the woman is first talking to his boss about going to build a sea wall) This is when a new community is formed and it starts with the man and woman having sex. They were speaking some form of Esperanto - I took the 4 most spoken languages in the western world and used the word from that language that closely fit the description of what I wanted – this also used by google and other online translators I liked the dialogue in the Esperanto part.
I want to show a time where we have melded together, become homogeneous but still there are small differences – the same way the corporate marketing game tricks consumers into thinking that they are buying the newer better thing but they are all just the same. I want to talk about the end of time or a deadening of time – according to some prophecys we are already in this 7 yr. Period before the end of the world, and this begins with everything the beginning began with. It has to do with American power, 1984, new ways to survive. In the end they find a fucked up happiness.

06.15.04

Tarkovsky said “cinema is not a new art it's just a new form of presentation'.

"His using of classical music and showing and quoting of old
paintings is meant to give the cinema the deep roots
that it hasn't aquired yet by itself)(another typical
quote: 'movies shouldn't be entertaining, that is
debasing for both the maker and the audience'). " Gert
The movie was unbelievably good. Next to Kirosawa’s “Dreams”

Later in the week I decide I have been hearing a lot of conversations I would describe as well-versed, tired, unexcited, moving on. Glossed over, maybe a false understanding… My problem is I haven’t been seeing enough of my friends, and instead just taking in the environments around me.

06.09.04

Hello from land of art, sex, money, media, overabundance...god it is shocking and exciting to be back! at first I was so repulsed, but once you are used to it, it becomes reality and the great outweighs the negative. Last night I find myself having dinner with a writer from the Economist who was stationed in Kuwait for the beginning of the war, and during the day working on a shoot for hanes underware – what??? It – the city - is a constant propelling force, this person wants to be prettier, skinnier, more successful, a better actor, more personable, funnier. No one can just be. That (surface) isn't interesting enough. I was sitting on the train this morning to go to the gallery. I have 4 bags because after, stephanie and I are driving to meet my family in CT, and then the next day to Mass Moca. I have my camera, clothes, things to bring back to them that they mailed to me while I was in Holland - ie:sweaters, etc. and I have a book and papers. The girl sitting across from me I noticed had many things as well. Every second she checked one of the things out. At first she looked at me reading. Then she took out her palm and started to analyze it, she had her ipod walkman on, and a hiking backpack under one arm, a bag/purse on her lap. out of the side pouch of her hiking backpack she pulled out her poland springs water bottle and quickly took a small sip. She put it back. She looked at her spywatch/bracelet and adjusted her bags. She turned up or down her ipod. She put away her palm and took another sip of her water. OK you know where I am going with this. I am a like, much more free with my books and clothes and all... I have to get re-adjusted to the city.

spylink

06.04.04

Back in Holland for the show. Elena brings up the idea of mental garbage – how we write something down to expel it from our short-term memory. We talk about the statistic – a person only uses ten percent of his or her brainpower. Then about the idea that there are no real advances in technology, we are stagnant, advancing only with production. I have been thinking about the amount of artwork I have seen in the trash lately, and personally throwing away a good amount of artwork that I could not take with me to NY– It is easy to imagine enormous amounts of truly interesting unfinished sculptures, drawings, etc. that were for one reason or another disposed of. In Holland, artists have an enormous amount of space to house and file away old artwork; mental garbage. Failed works, works that did not fulfill our expectations; these works barely see day. So what does fill our landscape? A proliferation of advertisements and images used to stimulate commerce or to create fear in the cultures, an overproduction of clothing, beauty aids, home aids, electronics, bottles, plastic utensils, comfort aids. We downsize our products with new products, the small replaces the large as people flock to cities. Graffiti is covered over the next day. We spend desperate time and dollars trying to reclaim nostalgic feelings about a culture we have never experienced while widening the current culture. We continuously create the present, and recreate an idea and feeling of the past. In turn an idea of progress becomes distorted and the future promises improvements on the technology of the present.

05.04.04


Part from an interview I still like: Uniforms and tools are definitely products of my waking dreams. I imagine this is a future that is not far off – we could easily see uniforms in our lifetime. It really comes from many things that I think about regularly that frustrate me in politics and big business. Being an American, this is the prevailing thought. I think about that on a large scale and then on a small scale, growing up in American high schools with brand names always being the uniform, this college I went to in Portland, near the end of my time there enacted a rule that required all students to wear name tags with our photograph on them. At that point I began to wear a uniform of grey every day to school. But a very scary thing to me is uniform thought, which falls into a dialogue about watching constant advertisements, television as a passive medium and one where your brain constantly accepts data without really conscious questioning. It has happened already. A few clothing brands are umbrella brands to the thousands underneath. They produce variations of their creations or styles – to give the buyer a false choice. Soon enough, as we slowly forget, our choices will be whittled down to none. When this happens and we are all wearing the same uniform, they will need to have more functions than they do now. There is a lot of textile design study on futuristic elements of comfort added to clothing. This is nice, but when we consider all that is going on in the world right now, the ease of travel, the awkwardness of having a home, the distinction of a sense of roots we have to a culture, to tradition, etc. we need to live in what we wear.. When we give up stationary homes, this is when we will really start living. Or not. We will travel the earth, but at the same time we will remain very separate from one another. Like now in our window sills we display kitsch objects, and reminders of home and happiness, in the future we may hold onto some of these objects – or – like with the rostafform that you mention – people create their own objects that establish place, or that help them adapt. This object I gave to someone with a missionary position. Maybe a leader of a new project like an apostrupture in that area or part of “The New Way” an online community based on new age religions. If science-fiction is closer to reality, I believe that is a better description of what I am trying to make. I take off on the fantasy part, but it always fits into this scary vision that I have." The interview went on and I told him I was pretty emotionally unavailable (like us all), and then proceeded to tell him much more than he wanted to know about Catholicism and suppression, and how it is a generalization, but most generalizations are results of good reason.

So, I was reading today. One interesting thing, the Japanese cell phone market. Women can use cellphones to track their ovulation. After logging their vitals into a database provided by the service, an animated koala bear depicts their cycle. (If the bear climbs up the tree, the woman's temperature is rising and she may be ovulating. If the bear climbs down, conception is unlikely.) Guys can date a virtual girlfriend supplied by their cell phone - they can make advances, and the virtual girl will either respond in a positive or negative way. We have online dating services in the states, in Japan they have cellular dating services. If a woman finds herself in Roppongi Hills with no one to buy her a drink, she can access the service to look for a suitable companion. If someone in the vicinity responds positively, global positioning systems, using ringtones, direct the two to each other for an "offkai" (Japanese slang for a meeting off-line). What else? Friendster is second only to orchid.com. haha... Today I was thinking about this time at this really hyped-up club, Crowbar in Miami. Kadar Brock and I were dancing to techno. We lost the art crowd momentarily and went back to our roots. There were fire dancers. The rest of the night was crazy and Dave Hunt was trying to get me to drink gallons of water so I would not get sick. That was a nice meeting/interrogation. I like his brazen, opinionated nature (we need more people with opinions these days), and some may say he is smart. Miami is such a place of excess. Everything had a false/real intensity - brought on by a culture prospering on a steady flow of drugs and silicon. (I figure I may slowly start revealing more detrimental evidence on this site. I very much like the fact that when someone like Kadar googles his own name, he will read about that fine time dancin.)

05.02.04

A rainy Sunday morning May 2, before (yes) church. Queen’s Day we talked about the best things…we sat there in a restaurant serving pizza. Chandeliers, candles, dark wood, blue Romanesque high-modern design, really bordering kitsch. I’m told that this restaurant’s purpose is money laundering. We talked about aliens while it was storming out. (It turns out the south of Holland actually flooded from this storm.) Before that, spent an afternoon sitting on the terrace drinking coffee and wine. Horrible. I gave myself a break. Really, Jan said if I worked at all today he would scream at me. So I held my tongue and participated in the Dutch holiday. Queen’s Day in Rotterdam. Everybody sells the things they would have otherwise thrown away – It is a very good thing. People exchange their old things amongst each other for next to nothing. Anyone can set up a blanket and table and sell. I bought (with the help of Jan) a pair of snakeskin boots for e2.
Church alone is very nice. There is a good-looking tall Dutch fellow who sits next to me - he greets me in Dutch and I greet him back in English. That is sweet. (I counteract my newfound purity by spending a lot of time with Jan.) Today I had the times mixed up (I had been trying all of these different churches here so it was inevitable). But I went to a café (where I am writing this in between reading Spencer’s recommendation: In The Absence of the Sacred. When Gert saw me reading this the other day he recommended I should really read Marshall McLuhan’s book on or titled “The Global Village”. I have never read any McLuhan’s books. [The thinking behind this simply being – right now, hey, I’m converted.] I like Noam Chomsky anyways.)
The pizza dinner – Janco concludes we have really made no technological advances presently. We are selling and re-selling the same things with slight changes (Think of Mac G5, 6, 7 to GX, or keeping things from being sold that will eliminate the need for new things. Think of Ikea making furniture that is not supposed to last over 5 years. Think of a cell phone that takes pictures, a newer one that takes video, c’mon, how slow and boring.) He is correct of course. We talked – the problem is, advancement is not about selling, therefore we need to change our ideas. Our ideas about time from linearity to non-linearity and this will put us on the right path to get us closer to time and dimension travel - and THEN we can say that we are REALLY GETTING SOMEWHERE. I think some sectors of science are on the right track. The VA glass is a device that is off to the right start. It will really start to become something when if It (as an object) is eliminated, but as a result, adopted. Also cloning, living forever, new habitats – these somewhat “taboo” topics. These things need to be our future if we care about surviving as a race. Frankly, I don’t think that we care. Governments certainly do not. We need to be basic again, to live with the land, to forget about comfort and embrace adventure. We need to really live.

04.04.04

Went to the house of Daphne and Marcel. They are amazing, both of them. Daphne is sometimes almost unreal in her mysticism and lyricism. Her thoughtfulness is unbelievable - not a conversation goes by where she does not astound you with one of her points - her ways of viewing the relationships between things (http://home.wanadoo.nl/daphne35/) - the world - and of course her husband Marcel is equally as charming - knows everyone in the room - brilliant, really. So I always have an amazing time in their presence. Sunday was spent in Dizzy's (after Gillespie) listening to live jazz - a sunny day - I did not make it to church even though it was my plan to. The night before I met with Jan. Jan was the man giving me a hard time at the opening. A challenge I thought. And wanted to know what he really thought. So I meet him at some bar - the first thing I notice is his shirt. It is a gridded collage of girls’ faces in midst orgasm - heidi fleiss was the recognizable one - really I was shocked. At the opening we were watching part of the video he did not like - the wearable home is mirrored against itself- the movement implies intercourse but is not at all clear - his comment to that was - take it all of the way - don't stay in-between. Myself, I enjoy complexity. So anyways, the shirt was - I'll say shocking. But he turns out to be great to talk to and we throw ideas back and forth for hours, between dinner and bars, and by the end of the night he makes his point with the shirt and we plan another meeting for later in the week. So during dinner and bars I drink an amazing amount of coffee to keep up with his speed and energy - and its not until I am in bed that I realize I will not be falling asleep. So I stay up trying to fall asleep, dreaming but still awake, passing in and out of sleep before shutting off the alarm (I set to make it to church) going downstairs to the library. I go on the computer. There is a mouse moving around in the recycling bin. Its cold down there. I decide to go back upstairs around 6am and finally fall asleep. I miss church and the day begins. Went to the house of Daphne and Marcel. They are amazing, both of them. Daphne is sometimes almost unreal in her mysticism and lyricism. Her thoughtfulness is unbelievable. At the end of the day, when all is said and done, there is a dinner party at Noelle's home. It completes a great day.


04.03.04


with a little time to reflect - I started being more critical. a lot of things will be re-evaluated before our next show in may. I’m seeing the art I'm making in categories and, really, these categories are never desirable and always need to be transcended. of course on the other hand the more categories you can involve yourself in - the better too, because we really always categorize everything. it is the way we think today with so much information available to us. on another note, Michael has many things going on for me when I arrive in NY, one of them being the dog-sitting of Diva - I stay in his wonderful Chelsea abode - which works out perfectly for me as it is at the time I arrive in NY - and I will not have my apartment back from the two guys staying there at the moment until the end of May. Mira Burke is the first buyer of a wearable home. A photograph of mine is on the cover of Photography Quarterly Magazine this quarter - and the show here has lead to some gallery and exhibition space interest in the Netherlands. I look forward to returning to NY. Nineteeneighty has a few things planned and I have a big plan for the group in The Armory next year. Jessica and I are exchanging emails to do with Wisconsin/Rotterdam. Our lives. Our expectations, our disappointments. Overall, we are happy, and we realize we have a lot of work to do.


03.27.04


dedes/mattingly in Holland opened yesterday. the opening went well. friends and strangers came - people liked what they saw and in general comments were flattering. I was intrigued by one guy whom I overheard talking very loudly about how the work was shit "not good art" etc. etc. I began talking to him and asking some questions. it was interesting because he thought overall it needed to really say something and it (the art) had things to say but was not clear about one thing or the other. he said the one thing he liked was a timepiece I made - it is really kitsch and bubbly like a swatch watch but in degrees - a day broken into 360 degrees. The New Way has devised a calendar. Everyone in the world can be on the same calendar. Our days begin and end at the same time - so we can better communicate with different places in the world. this may mean some places a common bedtime is 90 degrees where another it is 240 degrees - its just a way to have smoother transactions throughout the world. So anyways, we get to talking, he doesn't believe in subtlety apparently and I explain why I think sometimes subtlety is necessary and mystery is much more desirable. Anyhow, this was one of my more interesting conversations of the evening.

02.14.04

st. valentines day, rotterdam.

along with our many other talents, Stephanie and I have become experts on bicycles.

02.02.04

the day before we leave for iceland. Our first official studio visit today. snapshots of rotterdam

 

02.01.04

Dre Wappenaar - the first subject of The New Breed. Dre is an artist living at Duende. He is doing incredible work. Presented is a small sample I borrowed from the design institute's website, however we can see his work at Mass Mocha later this spring in what will be an outstanding show with Lucy Orta.

 

01.30.04

We are about ready to leave for Iceland, Stephanie and I. Thinking about the subways in NYC and how great they are. Well the subway is really too expensive now, so I will probably start biking when I return, however, where else can you get stolen batteries 6 for a dollar, "Duracellllll"? Where else can you hear the most insanely loud stories from some of the most over-the-top characters you will ever not want to meet? Not in the Netherlands where PJ described it pretty well...Dutch - aren't they just boring Germans? He can say that because he is German and I can laugh because I am Dutch. No I am not, actually, but I can laugh because I have a sense of humor and Dutch people are really great and not the basis for that many caricatures or cartoons (unlike the usual breed of New Yorkers.) Two days ago I visited a post office here to mail an application to the United States. Stephanie had mailed an almost identical package the day before for the price of about e2. My price the next day was e4.20. I waited while the woman behind the counter took my money and put my package, unstamped, onto the counter with a priority mail sticker and void of postage. I told her, I will wait until she posts it and drop it in the box for her (as politely as possible). She muttered something and said she would do it after this line passed. So I left, all the while feeling very uneasy. I meet up with Stephanie about 10 minutes later and tell her the story. We deduce that her package was in fact heavier than mine because of the cardboard envelopes she used. So I decide to go back and ask for my package back to drop it at the main post office (so I can be sure it makes it to the US on time.) So they reach into the box to fish out my envelope - to my surprise there is only e1.80 in stamps on the package! The woman takes the package, peels off the postage, and returns my e4.20 to me. I leave not knowing how to handle this...should I fight? Should I take the box of Valentines Day cards on the counter and deposit them into the trash can and walk out? I decide I will go back the next day with Stephanie's ski mask and demand all of their money - because they owe it to me and all the others they ripped off. In the meantime, I take my package to the main post office, where the correct? price comes to e2.20. I am really angered then that my package probably would never have arrived had I not went back to rescue it. That is all. Expect to hear my name in the local news soon for robbing a post office. Besides that, a very small town on the river in Holland was flooding, their dike was very old. It turns out it was a water pipe, and the town was evacuated, everyone was very on edge...

01.22.04

Stephanie and I have just completed the first Dedes/Mattingly Talk/Interview. You can follow the link through here.

I have been making wearable sculptures and other sculptures to used in the film. Am finishing a script and taking pictures – I should be ready to shoot the video at the end of January. The sculptures that are not wearable are what people would make (out of discarded mechanical objects) to help them do things – it is as if technology has gone so far that some things are just accepted as a part of your life – like VA glasses that you put on and they direct you – the same way that digital car maps work – but they also remind you of meeting someone in the past and explain things to you. But people have forgotten practical things like shovels so they build big contraptions to help them shovel dirt.

01.13.04


Some photographs by Stephanie Dedes - Amsterdam is one of the most gorgeous cities I have ever seen. We went to some openings there for some new friends and headed back to Rotterdam playing Marienbad on the train - yea i found this game - its called marienbad after the film Last Year at Marienbad...

The New Way

01.04.04

The new year has passed, I am in Rotterdam at an artist residency. Stephanie cut my hair. Been reading tons of Parkett - one of the only magazines here in English. Been reading "The Life of Saint Faustina". Being allowed to make art like this is such a special thing. I don’t want to rush into it but I have a vision that I would like to explore. I think if everyone were to push their minds to its outermost limit we would perhaps get to experience something never created before (an important goal for an artist in my opinion.) There is so much to be explored and translated into art. I've compiled a top ten list this morning for 2003 (it is pretty rough right now):

 

Text from my old site I just came across:

How do people function in a not-so-far-off future? When they are technologically removed from their neighbor, and places all mimic each other? Wearable homes extend the body into his or her immediate environment. Parts of their homes serve different functions.
They act as reminders of memories, museums to the person and his or her family or friends. The wearers are forced to divorce themselves from collection and internalize due to necessity; space restrictions, element restrictions, navigational restrictions. Taking a tour of a personal museum enlightens the viewer to subtle aspects of the wearers overall self, his culture, his heritage, his memory. In many cases these museums house relics of ideas and notions that no longer have a place in society.
There are elements of protection in the home – protection from man-made harmful elements, and from other people (the spikes on its back, the padding on its front, the long arms, the cancer-protective-shield above its ear). The home is meant to extend the senses of touch and hearing. In a state where individuality is lacking, it becomes hard to tell one place from another by just sight. These sense-extenders make it easier for the wearer to function in space.
The houses allude to a new mysticism that is forming – away from cultural mysticism and towards a global mysticism. The homes also partake in new kitsch displays to make the wearer feel at home.
James's Day

No, she did not like this room, she did not acknowledge it. Maybe she was too distracted by something else and missed it, I thought. I pointed out the dark wood cubist shelf that created a boundary between the front of the room and the back. She liked it. She motioned her head, nodding her approval. I felt better. We walked on. The next room fit the description of a child. Colorful, small, plastic. Not really cheap, as I would have expected (My father used to live off of Flatbush Avenue – the area between ( and ) . At the time it was littered with these places like “Toys 4 Kids” and “99 cent outlets”, and he did tell me about places like that. We weren’t kids, so this room she ignored. No reason to dwell on the past. I agreed completely, myself. I’m a big proponent of the future. I’ll be the first human to voluntarily go through with the thought scan. While I don’t know if this is really forward thinking or not, it is resisted and I have always liked to be part of the opposition, and of the future. There was probably a time in my life when I chose to oppose technology, and really took great care in making sure my peers knew my Luddite stance, but, frankly, I don’t care to remember. I don’t think I would mind being completely unemotional. I was telling her the other day that the only time I really feel emotional is during a song or a film that moves me. Both are of course secondary experiences, but I become so emotional watching people channel their emotions into song aimed at an abstracted salvation. Or maybe I become emotional for myself, and my own guilt for my lack of roots, history, and beliefs, for knowing that my father may have had these things. There is a part of me that understands that if I let enough of my liberties be taken from me, that there will be a point where I will revolt from myself, from all of the constraints placed on me, by me and by others. I like the fiction of the intense explosion I think it would cause, something better than any of those old Patrick Swartzenegger films. I move her reacher out of the way with my arm and pull her close to me to see if she feels anything, to see if she is warm, or if I am alone. She comes for a second and tells me about a box that just caught her eye. Maybe it was the way it was lit or the perfectly mitered edges, the space for an object inside. She probably thought, “I have some objects to house, and could make use of something like this.” We are lucky to be together I told myself. I thought about objects, about museums. This is not the object of an old museum. Museums are specialized in all different areas now though. This museum of housewear I recall from my father telling me stories about it just being called IKEA. Today MUSEUMIKEA draws wanderers with time to waste, people who may remember or have a vague idea about home, about a house. The guests of this museum will most likely be single. My mate and I met because one day I was feeling particularly obtuse and like a liar. I was sitting on the side of the shore and she was passing me, traveling from Canada. I asked her if we had met before. She said, no we did not, but I kept persisting. I wonder if the process of going to a place like this helps us digest our experiences, and put an image or an object with stories we have been told, things passed down, and all of that.
THE LIBERATION OF LIVING INSIDE OF THE MARKET gridThe religion of the network today.Colorado Springs; the city of moral fabulousness. The place where Pastor Ted Haggard began the New Life Congregation. Under his umbrella are the following movements; Young Life, Navigators, Compassion International, Every Home for Christ and Global Ethnic Missions (Youth Ablaze), and Dr. James Dobson’s “Focus on the Family” which provides the national scold we require. Currently, the church is housed inside an old strip mall – the only businesses remaining are a bar and a massage parlor, and then of course there is The New Life Church. During a mass, the congregation spills out blocking the other businesses.
Taken from Harpers August 2005Today’s successful business model mimics that of many religions’ models’, specifically of the 12-step program, and of the Tree of Life. The successful business will convince its employees that it is ejecting meaning into his or her life, a meaning that will finally be found by following a step-by-step program towards enlightenment. In order to retain employee satisfaction, the employee needs to think of his or her business journey as a path that brings him closer and closer to reaching the phenomenology of the spirit.The 12 steps for today’s successful business:
1. As employers, we admit that we are powerless without our employees.
2. We must believe a collective mind (rather than just our own) can improve our brand
3. As an employee, you must make a decision to turn your creative will over to the brand
4. In order to break new grounds within the business and capitalize on ideas, everyone - the employees and the employer must work together to make a searching and fearless moral inventory of ourselves and our collective goal.
5. As a business, we must openly admit to the public the exact nature or our wrongs, when and if we make them.
6. We then must eagerly accept and change all these defects of the brand
7. We must humbly ask the consumer to forgive our previous shortcomings
8 and 9. Make list of all we have harmed, and try to make amends
Make amends
Continue to take personal inventory and when we are wrong admit it
Through meditation improve our conscious contact with the boss praying for knowledge of his will and the power to carry it out
Then you reach the spiritual awakening and carry message to others
(In order to learn the secrets to the last three [and respectively, most important] steps to business success, please contact me at mary_pnca@hotmail.com, and we’ll see what we can do.)
The Future of Religion. As religion and business merge, there are several social and network evolutions that will take place. The Orgy of Communal Spending is one of them.THE ORGY OF COMMUNAL SPENDING
Finally, as a society, we are looking for love in all the right places. On weekends employees will find themselves online, blogging on product sites about their satisfaction or dissatisfaction with a passion equivalent to the feeling of good drugs. Or they will find themselves on an adventure, trekking to the malls to view and participate in the S&M (standing and modeling) part of communal spending.
The mall as a community paralleled to religion – shows its shiny, peppy face. As today’s shopper, one thing that we expect is to be confronted with another reality upon entrance of a new store. That said, the stores are also organized by districts, to help corral like-minded shoppers. Look at 28th street in Manhattan for example of how mall adapts natural city-village models. The mall as suburban babysitter. Park your loved one at one of the many human parking lots that line the aisles, or drop them off at an entertainment Mecca usually situated near the center or on one of the upper floors. The mall as happiness – look at the Japanese chain “Three Minute Happiness”. The sign on the outside of the store reads “Just three minutes / Enjoy Shopping/ A Happy Feeling. The Mall of America has more visitors than Disney World, Graceland, and the Grand Canyon combined.Hyper-Capitalism
Our desires are filled by the inventorying, quantifying and exploiting of the need to create a homogenous mass culture of production and consumption of corporate signs. This cycle of production permeates all aspects of society from the cradle to the grave to the orgy in between.
These, and teledildonics, are some things that really excite me.
It was 5:30 am and the late bus from Philly, PA finally arrived at Port Authority. The year is an historic five years earlier than now. Brewing coffee from Stop and Go fragrances the entire floor, and we wait for our transfer up to Bangor, ME. There is a man in a fine tan suit, fitted head to toe. His hat is a darker shade of brown to match his shoes, briefcase and duffel bag. He stands impatiently. He paces nervously. He holds the NY Times in his hand, but it is not today's. We know this soon enough. He turns to his audience; kids sitting on the stone floor, business people gathering their bags, loiterers, solicitors, standers. He announces in a boisterous, commanding tone that Clinton is calling back troops. "Clinton announces 911 Emergency!" the man yells. He spreads the paper and begins reading the story. He reads to us about the new, global war, about Kuwait. He opens the brown duffel bag and sets a tan rotary phone on the floor. He picks up the receiver and dials. He screams into the phone - "911 Emergency! Come in Bill Clinton! Emergency! Over, over and out!" and then continues to read segments of old news. He picks up the receiver and yells, " 911 Emergency! Come in Bill Clinton! Emergency! Over!"It was glorious, the underground room kept by The Survivors. This section depicted the cellular phone as it stood from the earliest 1985 model, the size of baby's head, to the 2004 model, the one right before technology could ftp 65mb files or live-stream video (Yes, it is still hard for The Survivors to find this model, in working form at least...but those days are numbered...) It proved to be a simple task -keeping the museum somewhat up to date. It was a true collector’s collection, based on collections of collectors, from promotional gifts that cost more to manufacture than a meal at Blue Ribbon, to genuine knockoffs, to the real thing – what isn’t the real thing? They beg this question. In its own room was an immaculate assortment of eating utensils. Red and white ceramic plates circa 1998, stacked with gold-trimmed shallow soup bowls, purple pottery barn discarded saucers, some urban outfitter standard blue/green. The most beautiful rainbow one could imagine, its brilliance was in places blinding. There were glass jars, from large to small. Clear to frosted, to color, each filled with discarded photographs. The photos were the most profound in what they told. The details of clothes, armatures, props, landscapes, cars, everything was in the photograph. Sex is depicted, surgeries, holidays, pets, vacations. They began neatly arranged in glass jars, but from there, spilled carefully onto the floor, their order still apparent in the piles, veins and walkways that the finders had formed. She engulfs one Sun Chip upon another, not taking her eyes off of her copy of “The Hot Zone.” The group of men next to her talks riotously about “all the blood Everywhere!” and a guy getting caught in an alley. Suddenly a man, in his late 20’s, heavyset, in full garb known to the Hasidic Jewish religion, stands up from his seat and moves to the middle of the car. He lifts his arms up to the pole and the men stop their wild hand motions for a second to see what this one is doing. He begins a series of half finished pull-ups on the bar, his ropes slowly make their way out of their sacred hiding spots, and the car passengers can see them around his middle. He walks through the group of men, policing their conversation. The Hot Zone girl gets off. We follow her through the crowd. She discards the bag of Sun Chips in front of the receptacle not inside of it. Its contents are 1/4 full. She is lost in the crowd and it doesn’t take more than five minutes before the sun chips are passed along, to the tribe of Survivors. Survivor #2 takes the bag from #1 and places it inside a sack. The three Survivors exit the subway and are met with #4, who guards the four shopping carts attached to the backs of the four hybrid bikes. The contents of the carts much outsize the carts themselves, and are contained by ropes, netting, and cloth. Inside these new museums, objects are housed from decades passed. These warriors for the salvation of nostalgia take with them the singularly most beautiful, trite and forgotten objects, discarded by the dozens onto the streets from Manhattan apartments. These are the warriors against a crippling collective memory, the creators of a collective soul, of a unified history. They re-fuel with the Vitamin-D provided by the Sun Chips and begin their journey south from 90th Street in the Upper East Side to The Survivor Museum in the lower third quadrant.
Mary:22:0Soul Surfing in Liquid Crystal City.DL. likes her temporary settlement. The old ShopRite sign still glows, and reminds her of the idea of a hustling commerce that probably once took place across the road. The recognition-lights remain on of course, even with only the occasional wanderer navigating through. It has to be safe, it has to look like day. We have to be able to see the shapes of these old structures. We have to be continuously reminded of the cumbersome past.
She had been following murkey river for what felt like an eternal day, through swamp and flood before finding contentment and oneness here, for a time-segment at least. She seemed to think that people were attracted to her aura that was constantly leaking through her GPD. Pulled into her magnetic field, they were forced to pass through Crystal City (the name she gave her alcove in her mind) giving her food in exchange for her objects of synergy.
Why was she making these things, she wondered, not stopping to really search. This is necessary, she kept repeating. These are the essential objects. Some object-lovers tell her that they are programmable, like a computer, if one was to concentrate hard enough. The shape of these crystals is dependent on the types of molecular bonds between the atoms to determine the structure, as well as on the conditions under which they formed. God, it has been so long since she has known what to do with her hands.
Crystals are the hypocrisy of grand sentimentality, overstatement and manipulation, the qualitative compromise for the approaching golden age.

The River of Life
22:1 Then the angel [1] showed me the river of the water of life, bright as crystal, flowing from the throne of God and of the Lamb 2 through the middle of the street of the city; also, on either side of the river, the tree of life [2] with its twelve kinds of fruit, yielding its fruit each month. The leaves of the tree were for the healing of the nations. 3 No longer will there be anything accursed, but the throne of God and of the Lamb will be in it, and his servants [3] will worship him. 4 They will see his face, and his name will be on their foreheads. 5 And night will be no more. They will need no light of lamp or sun, for the Lord God will be their light, and they will reign forever and ever.
Back
Here machine.
I am losing these thoughts as I lose the image. Which do I initially forget, the story or the image of its presence? When I first enlisted in your services, you were just an embryo, in your producers mind. Now look at you, you are real, just like me, and we traverse this tundra together, like comrades. I, for three days, sit here and repeat the same motion until the sun dies behind the horizon, while you, whenever I want, you tell me a life-lesson, or let me make up a story for you. You are what we would call a friend. Like always, I will tell you this story if you will then give me a piece of advice…
The scene is set on a floatown, with a village of free-floating subdivisions. Think of that old metropolis Dubai. Malls, casinos, parks, homes, luxury travelspaces. Man had just eaten his usual dish of pastalliadas at Bechtel Garden (BG) and went from island to island in World Island, until he had seen 87 homes identical to his. About every four islands he noticed the BG - was it a different one? Was he floating circles? He looked for signs and clues of his existence on a certain island - his smell, his doggie's sound? The materials were plastic, foam, and unknown. The crystal he hung in the dash of his floatorcade? What was wrong with him? He thought back to his meal. Same as always. Same brogue behind the bar, food spicy enough...The sun was bright. His GPS was solar powered, he thought. These things rarely malfunction before their Perceived Time Usage expires, and it was not their third quarter holiday yet. He thought of the trick he read about online (and implemented) years ago regarding rigging your electronic devices so they will outlast PTU. Was that a hoax? Were they tracing those people? Maybe breaking the International Trade Law doomed you. He was always coming up with outlandish doomsday scenarios, he told himself.
This was how it began, the last of family in a traditional sense. A Decoalesco society. The great, great grandfather to man was the son of a Survivor. They wore flags. They were still territorial. While survivor was collecting physical objects, a cousin survivor, whom man was fond of, was over in Old Kuwait, by the title of engineer, and (intelligently - man might add) retired on Island Dubai.
Man borrowed a Motorfloat sans alarm and began to speedily cover causeway after causeway, calling for his pup. He covered 18 zones before nightfall, before the motorfloat halted. Its remote control took over and began homing. He jumped off onto the first lot and started to tinker with his computer. He was ordering a new GPS. Trying to find his house online. Spectquest VV1 located it within seconds. Now where was he? He looked for lots, he looked for the top of his head at the corner of a lot. Man locates his dog. He reserves to never do things the hard way again, but he has so many degrees of free time, he must sometimes fill it by wandering, he reassured himself. He types in his destination and floats to his block. He passes other floaters homing in on their homes. The silent ripple caused by the sway of his suit, ballooned out, eased his mind. His legs are wet; the water has seeped into his boots around the edges. It feels to him like crawling lines of moist sweat and he doesn’t feel it bothering his tranquility. However, that was the day that he lost his mind, like all of the other navigators who left World Island to find peace or to run from It. He returned to his home and fed yapping doggie. The walls were transparent. Man paid attention to the bivotrans movements outside, inside, outside, inside. He saw them all in wearable homes from the comfort of his translucent house, he was being watched, and his will was being recorded. The alarms were armed. The weapons were at alert. The doggie nuzzled his legs. He remembered the memories. He wet them, sucked them, and compressed them into a sticky ball, until they slowly became the consistency of maraschino. He moved them to the vile on shelf 3. He watched more navigators float by; no person communicated with another. Do they sleep in these floating homes? Where do they go? What is out there that makes them crave this life? Sometimes he would hear language – shouts directed at no one. Man basically is like them. Their sound was swift and slow, their look was like everything else. How was it he even noticed them, he wondered? Man has a keen sense about him. His commissioned electronics and occupiers ceased to keep his continuous interest. His 45 and 90-degree dreams were a reflection of the fiction around him. He went down a level to Storage. He took in the memory of storage.
The old machine with which to make cloth coverings. Man could construct a useful device to navigate on his own with, this current structure was his torment, his encasement and the window for escape was narrower by the second. Eternal day. Man stared at the exterior, the crystal blue of salty wet outside. The world colors in the sky, the hazy fog of the distant horizon. Reds, the deepest reds and sexiest golds'. Man was seduced by it. What did this inside have to offer him anymore? A trap. Man understood. What was out there? There were no metal noises. He knew it only from the Infranet and the foamlands.
Sometimes man questions even the faithful pup. The doggie does not love him, why did he get it? The mobile pound was an exciting temptation that day, like a porn hollowgram, man joked to himself. (Methods for the augmentation of maximum sensory awareness.) The man does not spend more than ten degrees at a time with doggie, how can he love doggie, and vice versa? He spent more time with titillating occupiers than this storybook sentiment.
Friend: “Is boredom a figment of the imagination along with its cousin eternity? Was there a time when things did not seem to change? What did we do before machines? We used to think that the diversity of breeds was imperative for a cultural and world-wide survival.” Friend pulls up the thought. It is really unlike anything else, the sound was hot and raw, the smell was Reoility: “’The push to mechanize, modernize, avoid trauma, confrontation, and the physical world at any cost can only serve to push us down a path of evolution which will weaken the race.’ This notion was then implemented with the onset of gene therapy and genetic modification, and it was indeed discovered that individually perfecting ourselves can function, with stellar performance.”
Man: You and I, we go round and round in the night, and every day that we die is a reaffirmation or our life. A single flotorcade appeared on the horizon and walked slowly forth. Large sails propelled it forward. A complex mechanism allowed its legs to lift and twist. It was a memory that had slipped from its container. A person aboard looked at him, tormented him with a sound. He peered from behind the bar, looked over but would not go. That was the similarity between man and everyone on the world islands. There was something ancient holding them back. Something lingered from the television era, a regularity. Things had to be planned out because they weren’t always acceptable. Funniest home videos, reality TV, half-life, Panopticon - turn it on and watch your neighbor…
Man agreed to connect himself to the satellites with the others; man began to roam the globe. The secret is to respect the rhythms. The hope is that these voices will speak. They will find a forgotten land, they will find Atlantis, they will have an idea. They will be one with water and discover its deep laws. They will create winds. Discovering the laws of time, of communication, of the electromagnetic flux, of the navigation of other creatures; whales, birds and other man. They will measure and calculate the dynamics of thunder and cells. They will equate and understand. They will sail far away. They will travel in circles. What do you think, friend?
Life in World Islands at some point became subversive living. To outsiders it gives off the impression of an old community. Human’s new age religion is his old drug habit. People needed something to believe in. With their free time, they needed to be useful, to reach towards a goal. They could not feel bad or responsible for the imbalance of their comrades across the still-existing borders. As secularization completely replaced religion in the 2030’s, mass-conflicts subsided. They realized that it did not matter, as man moved around so often and infiltrated pockets of resistance naturally, the methods softened, the polarized groups blended. You concentrated more on survival of the individual than you forced your beliefs onto another. The seed that made you the grandson of a man 1000,000.03 degrees older than yourself made your grandfather the opportunist that had visions of a global order with Infranet God. He called this “The New Way” and wanderers did not need it. Word spread slowly through the decimals, and as it caught on, romanticism was revived. These souls forgot what they needed; now they knew. It was a reason. It began on this island.
That is how you see it. I could not keep up, so you let me go. I remember this, it was acceptable. I did not love you less. Often times, machine has the ability to surpass man, even though man has set an expiration date on machine. This date can be renewed of course, while man has no expiration date. We are insular, but it is our nature to continuously explore. This is one lesson man doesn’t take for granted, and has only began to comprehend its depth. We have in the past built giant cities to inhabit communally. This was a temporary objective in the scope of history. Present day triumphs the historic success of the triad – the three companies that prospered during the peak of world’s capitalist state, the current result taking the state of Globality. As the world became automated, we had less and less work to do. Fictional enterprises began to form so the richest areas could do the least. They became the laziest, with the poorest catering to the richest in exchange for a meager sustenance. The disparity increased. People everywhere followed a scripted protocol set in place by such mechanisms as advertising, organized religion, discrimination, minimum wages, school systems, organized crime, money laundering, world bank, credit, debt on scales encompassing many borders, from yourself to the world to continents.
When the triad finally finished the game, turned the resources into products, when man went bankrupt from buying the latest in bivotrans, the fullest in wearable home, the safest in celcerform, there was a void. When sex changed from desire to frightening to unnecessary, when attraction was replaced by safety of the self, when companies slowly merged together, when finally it was one product sold in many slight variations, when our garbages' became just swapping spaces, when the need for the newest tore people apart from one another, when personal soundtracks became our mediators…
We go round and round in the night.
The following is an excerpt from the updated lexiconical free press:1. Utilize working communication systems, like the infranet, as well as systems that are not working - the letter, written words, face to face communication.
2. Language should be an environment of tidal accessibility. There are two main lists - past and present.
3. The author is a word of the past. Book, to author, to authoritative text, to book market, to library - all became something else. Configurations of communication change this apparatus over from distribution to communication.
4. Foreseeable results - post language - no need for witness or explanation - Internalness. New Words:
Aegitecture – (eng. root; architecture. prefix; aegis) (ee-ji-tek-tur) n. elements worn to protect humans from their inability to discern one space from the next. These elements recall generic architectural formations in order to comfort the wearer through the idea that he is home. He wore all types of aegitecture, as he planned to spend the day in the airport.
Bivotrans - (eng. root; bivouac) (bI-vO-trAns) adj. A living being’s relation, reaction, and interaction with glass or mirrored/laminant-film architectural structures. Forty birds died each day at the World Trade Center in Manhattan because of the obvious conflictual bivotrans relationship carried out between the birds and the reflectant sky-like surface of the building.
Cealamony – (eng. root; ceremony. prefix; conceal) (seel-a-mOnee) v. A ritualistic veiling of one’s identity. In Kobo Abe’s novelette, "The Box Man", the characters participate in the cealamony of the cardboard city.
Celcerform - (root; cellular) n. Device used to shrink cancerous growths. His celcerform is above his right ear, blocking his cell-phones cancerous rays.
Decoalesco – (lat. root; coalesco) (dee-kO-les-kO) adj. 1. A rootless background. 2. A plastic sensibility. Their untraditional activities are the result of a whole culture of decoalesco thought.
Inform – n. A wearable object that reminds of internal bliss so as to distract from external confusion. Muself – n. People who carry incidents of past and present along with ideas of future, in a physical or mental state. As signified in the popular story, Fahrenheit 451, muselfs roamed the forests as living documents to culture. The isolation of insulation. This home allows man’s freedom in a straightjacket. Man wraps himself in a survival cocoon.
Museum – n. A place of enlightenment where the viewer regards overall self in the form of other places and memories. The museum houses ideas and notions that are recognized from a distance.Plastic Gardens – n. Generic sculpture parks set up usually at four points in sub/urban planned spaces. They tend to represent a preservation of the past and an accepted growth towards the future.
Resimulo - (latin. root; res; real, adsimulo; simulate) (rE-sim-U-lO) adj. The experience that takes place when altered nature skews perception of reality. "1984", by George Orwell, alluded to resimulo conditions through the theory of "doublespeak".
Spectime – (lat. root; spectum) adj. Unable to discern time. He has a spectime relationship with his grandfather and their past.Spectumform – (lat. root; spectum) n. Sense-expansion device. The navigator bought new ear spectumforms so as to increase his hearing and make up for a loss of spatial perception.Spectus – (lat. root; spectum) (spek-tus) n. 1. Map designed to discern similar space. 2. Map that can be used anywhere in the world as one place invariably invokes the next. The spectus has revolutionized the map, now only one is needed.
Specolumn – (lat. prefix; spectum, eng. root; column) n Locators placed throughout structures to be used as reference for passers-by. They regard the specolumn when it was obvious that they were lost.
Survivor – Exerpt from story on survivors: Survivor #2 takes the bag from #1 and places it inside a sack. The three Survivors exit the subway and are met with #4, who guards the four shopping carts – for the mall we call Main Street - attached to the backs of the four hybrid bikes. The contents of the carts much outsize the carts themselves, and are contained by ropes, netting, and cloth. Inside these new museums, objects are housed from decades passed. These warriors for the salvation of nostalgia take with them the singularly most beautiful, trite and forgotten objects, discarded by the dozens onto the streets from Manhattan apartments. These are the warriors against a crippling collective memory, the creators of a collective soul, of a unified history. They re-fuel with the Vitamin-D provided by the Sun Chips and begin their journey south from 90th Street in the Upper East Side to The Survivor Museum in the lower third quadrant.Time – n . When the word time is uttered it refers to a space relative to the subject in a horizontal manner. Time can be the space between one moment and another, or that moment. We call this conversion Time, time is no longer of essence as decoalesco societies use space as a determinate for change. Time refers to a visual space change. Place relates more clearly to a station – an avoidance or a wander.Uniscape – (eng. Root; landscape, prefix; uni) (unE-skApe) n. Mimicry landscaping. The cell triad pattern was the inspiration for the uniscape of bushes.Universal oxiform – n . Breathing device. Universal oxiforms have become a commodity second only to water.

11.04.03

It is election day, 2003. I have been working 6 days a week since September 2, 2003, and will be doing this through the end of December. Needless to say, as much as I think I can take on anything I’m thrown, things are slipping. Relationships are suffering – the relationship I have been having with Jona since the beginning of this summer, the relationship I have with my friends here in the city, not the same amount of time to practice art, and not the same amount of time to think clearly about things that are of interest to me – culture, art, history, etc.

On the other hand, at Fotocare I have been studying technology for the past couple of months. Jona bought me a CD Walkman and I’ve been listening to Finest Hour by Nina Simone about once a day. Its been that and OUTKAST lately. I have been learning everything about Macs and high-end digital photography with a Nina Simone soundtrack in the recesses of my mind. Kind of weird. The last fight I had with Jona was this week, the one before was probably the day before but now, a week later, it is less clear. We usually fight because I don’t make enough time to give to him – however much or little I see him. It is one of those doomed relationships – all of my life I have only really dated writers or men that spend 6 hours a day practicing the banjo or kung-fu after work - for this very reason. Last week in Union Square we were fighting on our cell phones on opposite sides of the park (a two block difference) and I knew then that, God, we are a mediated culture. It was like some New Yorker cartoon but really sadder, because it was real. I was yelling into a phone and people were staring at me. One of those obnoxious users. Honestly, I suppose if we had been right next to each other yelling, it would have been just as obnoxious.

 

03.25.03

Land – Like Peter Land


In the Grand Central Terminal dining concourse.
Jim Watkinson walks by, says hi as I stuff my mouth with a wedge of grapefruit. It is weird – you are at home and you think you are invisible when your home is this city – yet, you never are. You run into people you know more frequently than in the town you grew up in – better yet, you are being monitored from more angles than you knew you had. You one day wrote "instructions on how to take over the world" in your hotmail subject heading and since then your email is being monitored by dull eyes in some unseen hub of the network. A man – a fat middle aged man runs by yelling loudly under his breath "little shit" as if to explain his hasty running to us – the two of us sitting in the fiberglass red chairs modeled after some kind of cross between 20’s and 40’s movie decor. I ate a grapefruit. I have 15 minutes and $6 burning in my pocket, will I be hungry on the train? Should I get a bottled water? Five minutes ago I was remembering the days before bottled water – Evian was something in a small corner of the drugstore (I don’t even think we had chains back then, yea, it was the mom–and-pop drugstore, and the Evian was surface mailed in from Paris) – Evian was only a reality as pictured in Cosmo. Now the controversy is, am I just getting bottled tap water??? WHO CARES, really? For so many reasons…but we just buy water when we are thirsty and there is no free or safe water available – the free water is no doubt worse than the bottled in most cases. The fact is, either way we are putting it into our bodies, whatever its source, and we are paying for the convenience, for the container. I will not buy a water, I decide, I will become dehydrated, I have too many bottles. It is the way I was brought up.


In Florida.
My hotel room is minimal, clean and light colored. My laptop perched on the table, a nice view of their front door at least. I’m on the second floor. A straw sun hat on the bed. I’m updating my digital diary. Just bought this website (marymattingly.com) don’t know how I feel about the absurdity of commodifying my name like that to a . com reality. Or, its pretty exciting in a perfect way, depending on how I look at it, depending on how seriously I take myself. A digital diary is pretty strange as well.


En Route.
The car trip predicated with remarks like – I’ve been here before, yea, we have all been here before – or – we should stop here. Why? Well…when there is a sign for a pizza hut, you can usually assume that there will be a supermarket near.


The Lands both leave together this morning, is this normal? Peter Land kind of pauses – it is weird to know that you are being watched, scrutinized by someone so close by. He most likely feels me watching. It’s weird for me to know that I could digitally alter any photographs so easily – hence negatives are necessary here for court – but really I could completely destroy someone’s life, or someone’s sense of mistrust and hope. By creating your own truth you play god and a series of dramas stem from what never physically happened in the 3rd dimension (or second as some would argue).


We decided a Cracker Barrel sign usually denotes grocery store nearby. Thunderbird Inn, Hampton Inn, Comfort Inn, Best Western, Quality Inn, Long Horn Buffet, Shoneys, McDonalds, KFC, Ramada, Ruby Tuesday, Econo Lodge, all on the same block. Impressive.


Our meeting with Madeline was put at ease when she asked us to join her at Ruby Tuesday’s – That is our favorite restaurant, we have them in Connecticut – was my fathers reply (When I was growing up we used to save used tea bags for 2-3 re-uses. My mother was raised with a very Victorian sense of morals, which, when reflected upon her children, means we literally cannot wear anything cut (too low) (too short) (god forbid a two-piece bathing suit) those ideas also I imagine are steeped in a cultural heritage and proper etiquette unique to southern types – but results in unnecessary judgment as well as an unhealthy conservative-ness, not to mention extreme self-awareness and guilt.)


The wild wild wild is playing off a boat. I am on the balcony writing – sometimes I forget how important it is to relax, its so important. I was talking to Dave Lech last night, he asked me if I wanted to get married. I said yes after a dumb preface, I asked him, he says yes, definitely, I want to fall in love again, it is the only think in life worth anything. This is somewhat true I say, I feel like it is one of the most important things in life, it is harder and harder the more times you feel you’ve been in and out of love, to let yourself go in again. But you usually do and your standards get higher and higher, or just more fit to the person you are becoming. I feel one problem with a lot of marriages stems from just not knowing yourself that well before getting married.

 

03.09.03

nineteeneighty

02.09.03

my show

01.12.03

bechtelbechtel
bechtelbechtel
Photographs by Tom Kruse of Cochibamba during Bechtel/World Bank privatization protests: http://arenaria.home.xs4all.nl/water/Cochabamba%20pictures.html

01.09.03

Hello congregation, I am so honored to be speaking to you this morning. Let me begin to enlighten you. Today you woke up, not knowing it was your lucky day, the day you would unlock the secrets of time. I used to think today would be perfect (Sunday morning) if I spent it leisurely waking up in my white bathrobe, took a shower, went onto my balcony on 85th st with a cappuccino in a glass and the ny times and spent the first few hours of my day like this as the sun came up. 3 days ago, I decided that this was not the answer because it is not reasonable right now. The revised and possibly better way to spend the first few hours of Sunday morning has resolved itself to the following experience: Riding a bike or walking to the park near my house with a blanket, the ny times, an Americano (which I like better than cappuccino anyways) and a warm sweater, this works well especially in the fall. So today we unlock the secrets of the world. We will start with the 10 base system. Why the switch from the original 12 base system to an easier-to-understand 10 base system? A question answered with a question. The 10 digits on our hands made the leap an obvious one…
If the earth’s time is based on cycles and geometry, and we can assume according to historic documents and predictions that the middle of the earth’s time is the switch from BCE to AD, and the recorded date for the beginning of the earth’s time – or the beginning of life on earth is roughly 5508 BCE, I’ll get back to you on my point on this…
Lets continue with the 12 base system. The yearly calendar used to begin on March 1, therefore making the spring, symbolic of new beginning, the literal beginning. This agreeing with OCTober being the 8th month, NOVember being the 9th, DECember, the 10th…, the spring solstice being the new year. Every season being in months of 3’s, 6 being the center. This is referenced with traditional clocks and how humans gauge the sun, as well as the degrees of a circle, 360 going into 120 degrees, and 6 x 60 giving us the 360 degrees. With a 12 base system we are much closer to following the earths geometries of time, however not perfect. Say if each 12 months were broken up into 30 days, we would be 5 days off of 365, which is in close approximation with the sun and solstices, and to be more exact we would have 3 leap days every year and they would rotate at the beginnings of seasons, skipping one every year. The variable would be closer, however not exact.
A movable base system would be the most exact because it would represent the circularity of time:
1, 2, 10 (in a traditional 10 base system we would represent those #’s with 1, 2, 3)
11, 12, 20 (4, 5, 6)
21, 22, 30 (7, 8, 9)
31, 32, 100 (10, 11, 12) [end of 3 base system]
101, 102, 110
111, 112, 120
121, 122, 130
131, 132, 200 (200=24 i.e.: movable base system still coincides with 12 base system)
201, 202, 210
211, 212, 220
221, 222, 230
231, 232, 300 (300=36)
301, 302, 310
311, 312, 320
321, 322, 330
331, 332, 400
401, 402, 410
411, 412, 420
421, 422, 430
431, 432, 1000 [end of 4 base system]…

12.17.02

Back from Miami, I met Matt at the Half King, he bought me a Dewars scotch and he had some dark beer that he said was great. We talked about Miami and this gallery that is interested in him that he is not going for, and then met up later at artist space for their drawing benefit, after matt went to marks studio to see new drawings of waves mark has been doing that matt says are REALLY GOOD, I’m sure because mark did them they are REALLY GOOD. I thought some of the paintings at artist space were pretty good but matt assured me that the ones I liked were just fractals done in Photoshop and printed onto canvas, which shouldn’t really matter but I admired the details and it completely changed the meaning to the magic of pixels and computer auto-creation(ismJ) and that is magic but I would have bought that poster at “Deck the Walls” in my hometown mall in the eighties (and there is probably still a back-supply)

12.15.02

hey mary sorry yr florida was sickness-inducing. i am going to babble
because i am bored. the ex is around and it is intolerable. i hate her so
much even though such hatred is irrational it must be a typically natural
reaction of the spurned or something. i am so tired of this fucking farce.
it is really humiliating. fuck! everything else is fucking fine i suppose.
i had an article published in our union newsletter which everyone
including me throws away without perusing when it arrives in our mailboxes
every month. i have been collecting notes for a political zine to never be
published called COMBAT!: a polemical journal of the resistance and it is
to include editorials and reviews of books of political import and media
critiques. i was going to call it ONE BULLET after the remark that Bush's
media spokesman Ari Fliecher made about how all it would take was one
bullet for someone, anyone to enact instant regime change in iraq thus
giving official u.s. sanction to anyone that felt like riddling saddam
husseins body with buckshot and so i was going to print a list of
prominent americans with images of bullets next to them in case anyone
felt like assassinating prominent american politicos they would know that
it was ok by me but then i figured i'd probably wind up with john ashcroft
approved wire taps in my apartment and c.i.a. guys in white vans and
binoculars spying on me as i dried off from showers and shit so i changed
the name to COMBAT! which was the name of Camus' newspaper during the nazi
occupation and i have a ton of ideas for it and several articles already
written that i could use for it but the whole process of printing it and
such is so inappetizing and expensive and fact-checking and editing such a
pain in the ass without the internet or a computer that it will probably
remain a handwritten manuscript and nothing more to be pored over by
future biographers at the jason chan archives at the framingham state
college library or some shit. ... jason.

11.02

November I was working a lot. I was working at Robert Mann, the New Museum, for Linda, trying to work for Jason but never having time and working in Connecticut with my father. It was filled with a lot of meetings with artpeople and making work for Michael and for the art fair, not a lot of time for me to do my own work. I was hanging out with this guy who is really cool but it was a bad idea. ..he is a good artist though. The most amazing part was that we are both making things that have to do with the fact that in 50 years NY will be under water. It frustrates me that there are so many undeniable truths that people just avoid thinking about – like the fact that cell phones give you cancer – things that are right at peoples fingertips – that are so ripe for change…
Also sarah and richel came to visit from Portland, and later in the month Adrian came. Adrian and I had a lot of fun when we hung out. Sarah and I were supposed to start shooting for citiesinprocess, and we basically did our best work one night in Connecticut when we decided to build a robot, not just any robot, but the one you built when you were six and wanted a cool Halloween costume. So we took Robby to exotic locations in Connecticut and photographed him with skaters, girls at the local tavern who wanted to dance close to robby, in the bushes at the mall…he had the night of his life…now he just stands in the corner of my apartment guarding the computer. But that’s fine, he is still excited about the experience of being in a bona-fide Brooklyn apartment with hardwood floors and stucco walls…

10.02

I sold my eggs this month for science and money.

09.26.02

August 28, 1:30 PM New Museum, SOHO
#of people in group/what they are wearing


1-all orange
2-green tee-shirts
2-white shirts, jeans
2-black shirts, jeans
1- jeans, button down, manhattan portage
1-jeans, and blue top
1-jeans, white ribbed shirt
2-khakis, button down/tee shirt
2-all black
2-khakis and blue, 1 w/orange highlights
2-blue jeans and khakis
1-white pants, khaki shirt
6-1 all black, 3 khakis, 1 green, 1 grey
- 2-jeans, black leather jacket/all khaki
1-jean hacket, grey pants, black shirt
1-orange shirt, khaki shorts
3-blackand jeans/white and khaki/red dress w/white trim
1-black and khaki, greay sweater
2-white shirts
2-khaki shirt and jeans/black and jeans
2-blue shirts, 1 in jeans 1 in khakis 2-1 khaki and blue/1 orange and greay
3-all grey
1-khakis
4-blacks blues, and greens
1-all black
1-blue dress
1-khaki and black
1-black and brown
4-all black/1 blue sweater
1 light grey suit, white bag
3black jeans black pants, blue jeans, 3 tee shirts
1-khakis and blue button down
2-black skirt, white shirt/khakis and white shirt
2-jeans and red/black and white
1-all black
1-all black
1-khaki and light blue shirt
1-jeans, black tank top
1-black and blue
4-jeans, khakis, black, colored
1- balck and khaki
1-khaki and greay
2-1 black/1 kahki, both green
1-khaki and white
1-red and blue
1-jeans and green
1-kahaks and brown
1-jeans and khaki shirt
1-black andkhaki
1-jeans and red and white shirt
1-green pants, colored shirt
1-red skirt, white tee
1-white shirt, khaki and grey
1-grey
3-white and jeans/jeans and blue/khakis and blue
1-all grey, red tee shirt
1-black and white
2-khaki and blue/white and khaki
1-red and white/army bag
2-all black
2-black and white/black and jeans
1-jeans and green
1-jeans and khaki
3-all black/brown, grey, green/jeans and white
1-all green
1-jeans and white
1-khaki and blue
2-jeans/grey and green tops
1-jeans and blue
1-brey and blue
1-jeans and black
2-l black, 1 khaki/blue shirts
1-jeans, red shirt
2-jeans, white shirt/all black
Noon in August
2-backpacks
2-red pants/skirt
1-black pants
2-dresses
1-black shorts, grey shirt
2-khaki and brown
2-black running suit/khaki shorts
2-tan shorts, white skirt
2-white/safari
2-black and color skirts
2-jeans
4-khakis
1-black
1-black and khaki
2-black/jeans and tee shirt
2-black/black pants, khaki shorts
1-indian skirt.khaki shirt
2-black pants light tops
1-khaki suit
1-white
1-khaki army shorts
1-black
1-blue dress
1-jeans (2pm)
2-khakis/black
1-khaki
1-kahki and black
1-khaki and green
1-khaki and black
1-black
2-khaki/black
1-khaki all
1-khaki
2-khaki and black/all khaki
2-black sportswear/purple
1-khaki and white
1-kahki and yellow
1-black
1-black
1-black and jeans, grey
1-black and khaki
1-khaki and green
2-khaki and white/red
2-khaki/black and white
2-black/black and white
2-black with button ups
1-black and jeans
2-khakis, 1 orange top
4-black and white and grey pants
1-black
1-blue and purple (3pm)
1-black
3-khaki/black/jeans
1-black
1-khaki,jeans,sweater around neck
2-blues, skirt/white shorts
2-tees and jeans
1-black
1-jeans
1-khaki
1-dress
4-2 khaki/2 black, 1 blue top
1-black and brown
September 16, 2002 1:45-2:45pm
3-navy tops, black pants
1-jeans, black shirt
1-green khaki, checkered shirt
1-red tee, navy pants
1-red shirt, black pants
1-white tee, jeans
2-khakis and lilac/jeans and black
1-khaki and blue
3-jeans and mustard tee shirt/red/black
1-jeans and khaki tee
1-black pants, white cardigan
2-all black/jeans and black blazer
1-khaki pants, black shirt
1-khaki and lilac
1-all black
2-khaki and grey/black and white
1-black, light green
1-army pants, white tee
2-jeans, grey/khakis grey
3-all jeans, patterned tee shirts
2-khakis and blue/khakis and green
1-white tee, red pants
2-jeans, khaki/jeans, orange
4-jeans/khakis/sblack shorts
September 17, 2002 noon
3-grey/khaki/white
1-dark grey shirt, jeans
1-khakis, green tank
3-grey and black.navy/jeans
2-orange and black.navy/jeans and black
2-orange and black/navy jeans and black
1-grey and brown
2-white, black/jeans, blue
1-all black
1-all black, blue light tee
1-blue, light blue
1-black and grey
2-black/red and white striped/red skirt
1-khaki and white tee
1-black and white
1-all blue
1-khaki and blue
1-khaki and blue
1-khaki and blue
1-khaki and black
1-khaki and jeans
1-jean and black
1-khaki and light jean
1-jeans, blue shirt
1-black shorts, white tee
1-black pants, white tank
1-khaki and grey
2-black pants, white tank
1-khaki and grey
2-black pants, white tee/black pants, purple top
1-white and red stripe
2-jeans, blue top/black top
1-black pants white tee
3-khaki/black and jeans/blue and black
1-khaki and blue
1-brown and black
10khaki and white
10 black and green
1-khaki and white
1-jeans and blue
1-khaki/plack tank
2-black and white/white and black

08.03.02

Returning from Badlands in Oregon. A trip Joel and I had been preparing for since the spring. I tested some WPS and lasted for a few weeks. The nature is spectacular.

06.07.02

Interview with Jesse McKay July 4, 2002


Who are your favorite artists, past or present?
Charles Ray
Peter Halle
Robert Smithson
Peter Halle because I like people who can write well more so than paint. Geometry as systems that function in culture - his represent a dystopia.
Is that what you think about?
No, I don’t know what I think about.
But idea takes precedence for you?
No, I’m more interested in people that can do that because I can’t. I don’t want to inject my paintings with ideas. I would like to have a better idea…
You mentioned you talked about Proust during your artist talk in the spring, what does Proust have to do with your paintings?
Something to do with reliving moments. I am reliving moments in my paintings.
Are you referring to universal or personal moments?
I don’t know about that. What is this interview for? I think my paintings are just eye-candy. They are all about style and being attractive.
Back to Peter Halle, what do you think of Duchamp?
I think I like him. I think he was a prankster. I like what I know about him…
Well he definitely changed art, now we have had to consider concept in art - do you think that was good, do you think that was progress?
Yes now there can’t be a dogmatic rule to art, something’s quality, or right to exist…
(Argument about the extent of Duchamp’s importance follows – but we come to a mutual agreement)
My question about Duchamp a prelude to: does contemporary art have to be conceptual?
What is concept? I think it’s pretty blurry, pure conceptual art – Sol Lewitt - or when art is made only to facilitate the idea. The idea encapsulates the actual piece. Art is no longer that, I don’t think it works. It is not necessarily profound anymore.
(We are in agreement here) Is anything?
I don’t know if I would be able to tell.
If I had to gauge the level of profoundness in a piece of artwork I think the amount of time you put into it could be a gauge to its importance if there is to be a scale at all.
Yes, it takes a personal sacrifice or a time sacrifice to discover something or to realize anything (no matter what your reasoning for doing something).
Do you think its about time to make eye-candy paintings for the satisfaction of others alone?
Yea, I don’t think that can purely be done because that idea of what is beautiful is always changing, and is different for every person. What is fashionable, stylish and beautiful.
Yes, obviously you can’t appease everyone but that doesn’t mean your sole reason for creation can’t be for the enjoyment of others. Don’t you think there are things that never go out of style?
Yes, I suppose its tactile presence analogous to control of nature. That stuff is not fashionable.
What is your favorite book?
Watt. That was a fucking great book. (I even used the word fucking. I don’t swear that much...)
What upsets you most in current events?
How Bush seems to be steering the US into becoming a religious power rather than a democracy, and that New York is no longer recycling and the toxic waste situation in Nevada.

06.01.02

matthew jones has demanded i update my digital diary. matthew also tried to throw darts at my feet last night, but later outside i beat him up with "Contemporary" magazine. Its fun to talk about art

Last night was terry and alizabeth towery's wedding. it was completely beautiful, held atop the SOHO Grand as the sun set. stunning how every night this week has been thunderstorming aside from last night. the previous night mark d. and i were going to take his scooter to the moma opening just as it started to thunder. that would have been so awful, like that time Adrian fell off his scooter in Oregon - well surprising enough it wasn't raining then, he fell off because he is an idiot and thats about why...or when my old roommate from hell aly brenneman was riding on adrians scooter and when he came to a stop she pretended to fall off the back in traffic. im sure that looked pretty funny. she would also fake-fall getting onto city busses. she had sort of an attention defficiency. but the wedding. the music was good and everyone was sweet and the liquor was nice and they got married. well they had been married a week before ... but WE dont count that... so then it is late and i go over to grassroots to meet matt and joe and mark and brian. they have been drinking some of them since 7...about the same time i had, but i was not sitting in a dark bar all night so it is very different.

and at the moma opening i talked with jason robert bell. local hero of art.

Wirtz and i are planning on leaving for Ohio tomorrow. Tonight i will finish making these huge floating house balls to bring with us...I also bought a used 4x5 field camera from adorama but cannot figure out how to open the freaking thing now...i cant believe this mess. everything like that is going wrong. i shipped my artwork home from my show in oregon, and have been tracking it with fed-ex tracking automated voice service, and find out this person, i have no idea who, signed for my package! my package is nowhere to be found, so i am annoyed about this. when i do spy work i like to be getting paid for it. i just want to collect insurance money from fed-ex at this point. but anyways jen and i are planning on leaving tomorrow, she is trying to convince her boyfriend to let us borrow his car, that would be just splendid. matt is a splendid boy. jen told me this funny story today when we met at farmers market this morning about her roommate, also named jen. Jen1 was re-caulking her tub as the old caulk was falling off and was starting to mold. she tells Jen2 not to take a shower for 24 hrs and jen2 says ok. the next day jen2 asks jen1 if she can take a shower now. jen1 examines the tub and a small part is still wet. she tells jen2 a couple more hours. she hears jen2 go into the shower and take a shower. jen1 doesnt understand why. needless to say jen1 and jen2 get into a big fight and jen2 says she cant live with jen 1 because jen1 is too clean and she feels like she cant be herself living there. jen1 asks jen2 if being herself is being a slob and they fought for a while longer before jen2 left and came back with a carnation for jen1

...and i really wanted and felt like i needed to write ben grant a letter. preview.

05.10.02

The conceptual standard

by Jen Wirtz and Mary Mattingly

Hey Jen, I want to start it off with this, i think it will be easier to begin.
Sol Lewitt from paragraphs on conceptual art 1967

When an artist makes
conceptual art it means that all of the planning and decisions are made beforehand and the execution
is a perfunctory affair. The idea becomes a machine that makes the art. This kind of art is not theoretical or
illustrative of theories, it is intuitive, it is involved with all types of mental process and is purposless.
It is usually free from the dependence on the skill of the artist as a craftsman. It is the objective of the
artist who is concerned with conceptual art to make his work mentally interesting to the spectator, and
therefore usually he would want it to become emotionally (null.) I am very interested in this paragraph, i think it sums purely conceptual art up well. It is a lot to talk about and argue through. I wonder if it would be possible to compare it to this paragraph by Baudrillard, that
has pretty much no connection unless you replace Baudrillards idea of society with the artist who influences
society to the conceptual artist. or pick either paragraph to talk about seperately. You are fascinated by something else (but this is no longer seduction): technical perfection, high fidelity, which is just as obsessive and puritanical as the perfection of matrimony, but this time one no longer knows to which object an attempt at fidelity should be made, as no-one can say where reality begins and ends, and thus
no-one can say where the intoxication of perfection, which wants to use all possible means to reproduce reality,
begins and ends either. In this respect technology is digging its own grave, as it is simultaneously refining
the criteria of analysis and definition by perfecting the mans of synthesis, so that toal fidelity, integrity
within the sphere of reality, is eternally frustrated. Reality becomes a vertiginous fantasy of percision which
loses itself in the infinitesimal.

-Every Subway in the World-


-The Perfect Subway for the World (an overlapping)-

in response to the email i sent to kenny schachter: in earlier digital diaries i had outlined plans to begin the "people i admire and stalking art hero" series. there are two people so far that i have determined need to be on the list. Kenny Schachter and Richard Tuttle. This is just the beginning my friends. mary_pnca@hotmail.com
Save Address(es)
Block
Previous Next | Close
From :
Kenny Schachter <schachter@mindspring.com>
To :
<mary_pnca@hotmail.com>
Subject :
<no subject>
Date :
Fri, 28 Jun 2002 18:34:37 -0700
Reply Reply All Forward Delete
Printer Friendly Version

why thank you very much. believe me, to know me is to know im not all that
interesting!! stop by and see new space!

((ooh ill be by)) :)ok. i am mostly kidding. im not really this person...

05.03.02

05.03.02 leads to an entire other (earlier) diary (note: many of these links are broken, pictures gone, etc. but some of the text is hysterical! If you have ventured this far, I'm impressed.)

04.22.02

Memory as necessity-
Video camcorder is a weapon of choice for methodical derives of tourism, constructing precise narrative of events so salutation “wish you were here” replaced by “you are here” reified tourist relentlessly collects images texts, guides, maps in an attempt to sustain memory and relivanceto ocurances postcards transfer and revive experience. Today tourist plan like molitary for the best view, finest meal, to beat the crowds, to consume, become familiar while remaining a stranger.

04.15.02

On Films.

What would be the combination of manifestos from dogma 95, futurists on film, cahiers du cinema, and Fellini's writings on film? If one was to arrive home from work every day to sit in his minimal living room in his one chair next to his plant and turn on his screen to relax, what would happen? Would he see images or be stimulated by touch or sound? What images would appear and would they have to be different for every person for every day?

Architecture and memory. Can architecture be used as a technique to eradicate memory? What are the pros and cons to long-term memory in the form of nostolgia? I think these are completely necessary and wonderful pictures that make a person who he or she is. What would a person be without nostolgia, or any memories of his own? Is it possible to eliminate parts of our culture, cultural signifiers, from the realm of memory?

2002

04.08.02

I deleted the crap before this because this is really the only interesting thing i have to propose right now: what tests can we put ourselves through to attain sublime?

Machine. Vs Extremely emotional human being.

it is actually saturday right now. The Pills, my friend Corin Ashley's band from boston are playing at Acme Underground tonight. Corin is a funny, wonderful guy. He has a digital diary like mine.(http://www.monolyth.com/pills/diaries.html)

03.25.02

Wednesday I had the pleasure of seeing Erin Brockovich on the Greyhound bus line on my way to Connecticut. I have to admit, I don't know if Julia Roberts really does it for me anymore...

I am sometimes sensitive and I received a sort-of mean email from DH, aparently he took offense to the one I wrote first(which was sent in jest-which I suppose is hard to determine in the written form), but I think the stress of being a teacher is getting to him.

i have mapped lower manhattan a thousand times now and have yet to get beyond 24th street, but parts of 86th look promising.

it was stephanies birthday the other night. among other things we set a paper bag on fire and played hot potatoe in the livingroom, then really regressed (is anything further imaginable?) and darkened the place to play hide and seek in the dark, which lasted until joe thought he should hide behind my shelf structure that keeps breaking...god, sometimes that kid makes me so mad,

on monday april 1 i begin a garden. I really need to have some sort of steady income soon, im almost considering marriage so as to uphold my current state of blissful european-style living in perhaps the most expensive metropolis in the united states.

I came home to find a new large screen television and a photo of george bush on the refridgerator. Kafka. Jazz.Proust. Huxley. Veblen. Bach...prisms

 

03.18.02

03.11.03

Digital Diary. Right now i am extremely annoyed at not knowing exactly why my web page is not uploading properly. Right now I am going to go home and dig up dirt in the backyard and weeds from the backyard to take photographs tomorrow. This weekend I saw the Whitney Biennial with Joe. The closet I made attatched to the shelf fell this weekend too. I knew it was a precarious situation ever since bringing back the cloth ikea shelves from portland and installing them on the rack. precarious. yes. a little too daring. I am working on a project that allows me to walk down every street on the island of Manhattan and map out certain building types. Categories range from glass facades to national chain stores to machine/nature architecture (think of trump towers)...The WTC architecture design show utilized the idea of a building with a verticle garden. beautiful as bunnies, peeps...I still have not seen the Richter show. Thursday. I pack the throw away camera. Jen and I went to mary boone uptown thursday for the opening of Mr. Grahm Gilmore. This is worth seeing. Joe never went to see my show and he wants to be my boyfriend. He also makes very strong judgements on my work without fully investigating (without fully knowing what he is talking about) I dont know how i feel about this. So regardless, there are many projects I'm formulating right now.

Mark Gibson Catching a Butterfly, 2002

02.18.02

ah can i just say how working on this website is one of the most frusturating things in the entire world right now? can i just mention how i have been in the computer lab since 9am and it is now 655pm? i am also working on this book for steve nelson on sicilian easter which is much harder and much more time consuming than i had anticipated...so the only break i took was to go to adorama with mae to get more ink jet paper and take advantage of bookstore cafe for a second or two to enjoy the aura of literacy and then mae got more contact solution. last night was valentines day. i was very uninterested. i had a date but im becoming such a bore when it comes to romance, probably in my quest to become the epitome of roboticism, more unfeeling.(This is really not my fate, why now?)

Foam Guns, 2002

02.11.02

Bertolt Brecht

Walter Benjamin

Theodore Adorno

02.04.02

hello. this is february 4. the beginning of digital diary.